2 MORE TO LOVE

We've Moved

2007-11-21T15:16:00.001-05:00

A couple months back we looked into moving to a new home and are quite happy at our new address. If you would still like to read about our adventures please email 2 more to love at gmail dot com!

I have left the highlights up on the left so that you can still check out our adoption travel and such. We traveled in December 2006. January ahs some decent posts about finding a "new normal" in your home and impressions from the trip as well.

Blah...edited

2007-09-29T19:51:00.001-04:00

New sight issues, I really hope to get it staightened out soon. Hang in there, tomorrow is my next free time window for adding people in. It's been a busy weekend so far and should slow down tomorrow.

***Thanks to E. for the help, I've now figured out how to add people into my blog. Emails going out today and tonight. If it reaches supper time tomorrow (tuesday) and you have not heard from me, please email me again at 2moretolove @ gmail dot com
I also want to add that I am humbled at the fact that I'm going to have to pay for this crazy blog seeing as there are way more of you than the free service allows. It isn't much a year though and perhaps it will keep me even more dedicated to journaling.

news flash for twin mommies

2007-09-27T10:58:00.000-04:00

Want to keep them busy for an entire morning?

Simply bring in the car seats to wash the covers. With or without covers, the car seats are just their hight to climb up on and sit down, lots of straps and buckles to inspect. We played with ours for a good hour last night and working on two hours this morning. I've gotten so much done!

New sight is ready, I'll start sending invites out to those that emailes me later tonight and into tomorrow.

Jenn

still working

2007-09-26T20:58:00.000-04:00

I am working on the new home and have received many requests. I already have some pictures in reserve for posting on there as well other updates. I'll post on here when the new sight is up and going. That way if I managed to miss your request you'll know to request again as I am sure I will manage to exclude someone I do not mean to.

In other news, Twin 1 is walking and twin 2 is trying her hardest to keep up, but just doesn't quite have the balance yet. Twin 1 is now perfecting the middle of the room stand. Very fun. That and a tooth has most deffinately made an appearance, temporary as it has since disappeared but it was there and I have witnesses!

wierd people out there

2007-09-21T00:26:00.000-04:00

I hate to say it but in the next day or so this blog is splitting in two. Non-personal info and generalities will be posted here. Photos and anything that might be personal will be located at a different sight. Please email me for access at 2moretolove@gmail.com If I do not immediately recognize who you are, I may ask you questions...no offense.

Thankfully, I was able to transfer my archives. I plan on leaving what I can of our adoption process on here for PAP's to follow (that is, Prospective Adoptive Parents) as I learned so much from others through their blogs. It'll be more work separating it out, but so it goes...safety first.

All past posts that are left on this sight will be modified to use nicknames and will eventually have most if not all photos removed. I know I am can not simply go anonymous overnight, especially if I want to keep all my travel and adoption process information available, but there will be quite a few changes around here with the majority going into place tonight.

Thanks for being understanding on this and please, email if you feel you should be included on my personal sight.

photos to go with recipe and some

2007-09-20T21:10:00.000-04:00

MMMmmmm, yummy cookies with a nice balance of not-too-chocolateyness to them!

Yes, that is Twin A taking a step!

The twins helped me unpack their size 12 month items today, not that they fit (note cute pink skirt that hangs way too far below the knees) These are the infant hat/mitten sets they wore last winter...what can I say but that these two are petite!

Yummy Chocolate Cookie Recipe

2007-09-20T20:24:00.000-04:00

I'm still not feeling well. Here's the recipe, photos are going to have to wait. I hope to have some great video with the husband's new Flip-thingy too. (Yes, I am not very up on technology either...your learning all sorts of things about me this week!) This is an abbreviate recipe, in other words not pretty but at least you get it today like I said:

Yummy Cookies from Diane Mott Davidson's Book The Main Corpse

Preheat oven to 350 degree

Combine 2 cups of rolled oats and 12 ounces of semi sweet chocolate chips in a large bowl, set aside.
In your mixer cream 2 sticks of butter, 1 cup of packed dark brown sugar, and 1/2 white sugar until creamy.
Sift together 1 1/2 cup flour, 1/2 tsp baking soda, 1/2 tsp salt, and 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa, add to butter mixture and combine thoroughly (you should end up with a stiff dough.)
While mixing, lightly beat two eggs, add 1 Tbs of milk and 1 1/2 tsp of vanilla; add this to the mix
Add chips and oats and stir until well mixed. Drop with a scooper (about 2 Tbsp each) onto parchment paper about 2 inches apart and cook for 9-12 minutes. Let cool on pan 1 minute, then cool completely on rack.
While cooling melt 9 oz of white chocolate and 1 1/2 Tbsp of shortening in a double boiler, dip the top part of the cookie into chocolate, drizzle, do whatever floats your boat. I'll show you a picture of mine tomorrow. Enjoy! (Hint, very good when slightly cool (out of fridge) with a cup of tea of coffee or warm milk)

where we are at

2007-09-01T18:09:00.000-04:00

Here's where the twins are at right now:

No teeth, still. Yes, they are 13 months old. I've given up looking in their mouths and will likely be cutting food into little bitty pieces for years to come out of habit. So it goes.

Almost walking, so close it is amazing. Sometimes they do the "learning forward and feet going fast enough that I don't fall flat on my face walk" other times it's "one step then I'll timber the rest of the way into mom's arms" However, the deliberate, one foot at a time kind of walking has happened, up to 8 steps and with big huge grins on their faces. Truly any day now they will both be taking off, for once they are pretty equal on a developmental skill.

Food, they eat food. They eat any food. At times they shake their adorable little heads "no" to something, but often because they see something else they like better. The other night we had spaghetti squash with a cream and garlic sauce over it that was almost too garlic for my tastes, they will be doing the leftovers for supper tonight, they loved it that much. They even eatthings like saurkraut, Bleu cheese, and salsa! (No, I don't regularly feed them these things, but they have had them on more than one occasion...we usually stick to what we are eating for supper, but mashed and cut as we have no teeth.)

Sleep, it's a fleeting thing. Twin B was going through a really bad spell of not sleeping for long stretches. She slept all night two nights this week. I can't make heads or tails of it, the other night it was Twin A. Who knows?

Talking, they are really starting to imitate sounds and noises. The other day I'm driving down the road with the twins both barking at me. They make kissy sounds, today Twin A "meowed" for me. They are just starting to try to say words that we say at our prompting. I look for language to take off from here.

The older two: are doing great. They are liking school, being a big help to me, and growing more responsible as time goes by. They are finding they have individual likes and dislikes and that it is okay to play alone. This has been a long time coming and will provide a bit of balance to their relationship I think.

The husband and myself: we are surviving, chuckling at our princesses constantly, frustrated at times, tired often, but so blessed and happy. (right now with packing for vacation blessed and happpy are low falling a bit lower on the list...have you ever packed for twins, a five year old, a six year old, two adults, and a dog (she's going to a friends.), it is awful!)

The dog: she is finally being restored to the role of "baby" of the house so all is well in her world.

another good one

2007-08-29T22:44:00.000-04:00

Before I forget, I want to tell you I plan on doing an update on how the twins are doing here in the next day or two...you know: what they eat, how they sleep, walking or not, etc.

I did have to pop in here really quick and let you all know that I have found a new comfort food:

Homemade Applesauce (why do I buy the stuff at the store!!!)

32-36 apples of varying sizes and variety (Granny Smith, Braeburn, and Tree-Out-Back)
1 and 1/2 cup honey
2 and 1/2 cup water
some cinnamon

Peel, core, and cut apples into pieces (I used an old peeler, corer slice of my dads and then chopped them up a bit from there...Pampered Chef sells them and don't worry if you get a little peel in there.) On a side note the older two thought it was great to see who could eat the longest apple peel. Place chopped apples in a big pan with water, honey, and a few good shakes of cinnamon depending on how much you like in your applesauce. Cook on medium heat for 15 to 20 minutes, let cool slightly and mash with a potato masher. It won't be smooth and runny like store bought, but thick and so tasty. I imagine it is good cold, but right now the steaming little bowl I have of it couldn't taste any better! Yum!!! A side benefit would be that your house smells amazing too.

virtual school

2007-08-11T10:41:00.000-04:00

Here is a little bit more on our homeschool method. They call it virtual school, not because it's pretending to do school or anything like that, but because most of our lessons are based online. In the evening I will log on for the following day's lessons, will look to see if there is anything I need to have ready in advance, and will pull the proper books and materials. The teacher's directions are spelled out in black and white for me, there are anywhere from 4-8 steps to teach the lesson (they suggest you utilize a couple of these activities, not just one, but you certainly do not have to do all 8 steps to the lesson.) We usually end up doing anywhere from 2-5 steps. All materials are provided for me, they are labeled according to subject...it's all free to me.

How is it that I get all our books, materials, online lessons, etc. free? We are part of an online academy, virtual school, charter school...many names but one idea. Our school is a public school. It is registered as such with the state, and receives funding from the state. I have to admit that free is nice, especially with the cost of adoption, cost of raising a family of 6, etc. I like our curriculum, let me re-phrase that, I LOVE our curriculum. If I were to hand pick one it would be very similar to the k12 curriculum. For first grade we will be doing the following classes: Language Arts, Phonics, Handwriting, History, Science, Art, Music, Math, and Physical Education. Through the Language Arts and History there is a good emphasis on learning through literature (I am a firm believer that if you learn to read and can assimilate what you are reading you have the foundation for learning nearly anything.) It approaches reading through a couple years of phonics before switching over to a more typical English/grammar teaching. We do our PhysEd through our local homeschool group at the YMCA. Art and Music are really half appreciation and half experience at this stage. Handwriting Without Tears is what is provided and it is what I would have ordered were I taking a more traditional route. Math is good as it provides lots of practice and builds nicely on previous skills. I haven't looked at our Science yet (first year teaching it), but I can say the girls are quite impressed with the scale, seeds, thermometer, magnifying glass, and all the other odds and ends that came with the kit.
If I had the money, I do believe I would be likely to order directly from K12 and go from there.

The downfalls of the virtual academy. You have to work with a school. It's not so bad really, but I feel like often times we are doing things simply because it's required, not because it's beneficial. For instance, we have to do four face to face meetings every year. Not that bad if you think about it...just have to meet up with a teacher (not necessarily our teacher) four times a school year. As it turns out though, there is NOTHING withing a 30 mile radius of our home. The ones we went to last year were all at least a 45 min drive. That takes 2 hours out of our school day plus whatever time it takes for meeting with said teacher, potty breaks, lunch etc. Another thing is that I prefer not to teach in a very traditional manner. As in, we do not generally do an hour of math, followed by a half hour of music, etc. It took until about the middle of last year until I found that all of us operate better on a block schedule. We tend to do a large chunk (4-6) lessons of one subject at a time, or will work a couple weeks on something that we are really going good at and excited about before moving on to something else. This makes it hard when portfolio time comes around as we simply might not be there yet, or we are well beyond it and have to go back and re-do the lesson it is based on. It also makes our progress look really funny when out teacher contacts us weekly via email and monthly via phone. I really like how homeschooling allows you to work with your child's interests and enthusiasms, but understand that there are things they never are going to be excited about doing...I'm trying to find that middle balance and an actual school does not make that easy. The other thing that I have a bit of a hard time with is that my girls are 12 mo apart in age and I would like to teach them the same subjects...not easy with the public school setting of a virtual school. We are first sorted according to age, then ability. For instance, we received all Kindergarten stuff for Little Bits, but I will likely be sending back the Math, History, and Handwriting as she did all of that last year. Then I will have to wait for the grade 1 stuff...meanwhile I will work on Art, Science, and Music to keep working and then will have to re-order all of those next year as they are not part of the grade K. It will take me two years or so, but I am hoping by then we will be receiving the same curriculum without all this business of sending stuff back and forth. I really am hoping they will allow her to "skip" a grade and then I know for sure we will be on the same page. I say two years as I know that their reading levels are not the same and I fully expect it to take that long to get on the same level for reading.

Sorry this post is so scattered. I really wanted to get it written and posted though. If anyone has any questions I'm more than happy to write more, but for risk of rambling on and on like I have habit of I'll end it here....that and it's getting close to nap time and we are going through a phase where we won't go to sleep without mommy in the room. Not a bad deal all around as I am finally getting around to reading the Harry Potter books. I am just starting book 5 and am amazed at how much more there is to the books compared to the movies. Is it just me or is Percy completely non-existent in the movies?

Next post is our CSA goodies ( it is squash season, finally!) and hopefully some photo's of the twins' dedication at church.

Back to school

2007-08-08T13:45:00.000-04:00

It's that time of year, already. Time flies with two little ones!

My office has been over-run (more than usual) with boxes of books, art supplies, cd's, computer software, writing materials, maps, phonics kits...ten boxes worth of school curriculum arrived today. Yikes! I received notice yesterday that they had shipped and so last night we started cleaning out a cupboard. Why, until yesterday, it didn't occur to me that two kids in school meant twice the stuff is beyond me. You would have thought the girl's were opening their Christmas gifts the way they jumped and giggled at all their goodies. Especially exciting this year were the art and music boxes as they are not provided for kindergarten. Also, a new set of reading books was worthy of a good look and many smiles. I am so thankful my girls love to read!

Nicki has a good post on homeschooling, worth a visit to. We are not what you would call a traditional homeschooling family. I don't pour over the catalogs, debating what to get, which company to order what from. I think I would like it better that way...it is how we started out teaching the oldest to read. However, that costs money and we simply do not have any extra funds right now. We are with an online academy called Ohio Virtual Academy and we are very pleased with them. Technically you could say we are public school at home as OHVA is a public school registered with the state, gets funding from the state like any other school, and has teachers too. We have a teacher with whom we have weekly contact, send portfolio's to, and ask questions of. However, I teach the girls at home using their curriculum. We are able to work when the girls are at their best and I am able to teach them according to how they learn. It works quite well for us (though I do look forward to perhaps going back to traditional homeschool at some point, when adoption loan is paid off perhaps.)

We started homeschooling as our girls both just miss the cut-off for starting school. The oldest was nearly reading and wouldn't be allowed to go to kindergarten until the following year. So, we started at home teaching reading, basic math, and skills such as coloring, cutting, and other kindergarten skills. It has worked well for us. We take it a year at a time, so don't ask if we are going to homeschool all the way through 12th grade, I'll let you know about mid-way through 11th grade. As long as it is working (the girls are cooperating and are mastering their studies) we will keep going. Life has a way of changing on you and I prefer to set myself up for schooling a year at a time. Helps keep a bit of the pressure off. Yes, there is a bit of pressure with homeschooling...meeting the state hour requirements/peoples expectations, but most importantly is seeing to it that my girls learning and succeeding!

I am not anti-public school. I know many who go through the public (or private) school system successfully. I also worked with our public schools for over a year and know what teachers are up against. It isn't pretty and I can only imagine what it is like now as that was before I had children. The things that were happening in elementary school were things I am not ready to expose my child to. Do I shelter my kids? ABSOLUTELY and I make no apologies about it. Do I keep my kids from a healthy social life, not at all. Once school gets started, we will begin meeting with other homeschooling families once a week for gym class as well as classical dance. We also are involved with our church and see family and friends at least weekly. My kids are great with other kids, they enjoy being in the company of adults, and aren't exposed to the negative side of a public school social life. Do I look down on those who do not homeschool, not at all! Every family makes the decisions they know are best for their family. Just because it works for us, does not mean with will work for you and I do not presume to know the needs and workings of other's lives.

Any other homeschoolers out there getting geared up and ready to go? We are planning on starting Monday. We will be taking a couple weeks of vacation this year and I want to be sure to not fall behind. No adoption trips this year so that will surely help,though, the twins and balancing two in school might be more of a challenge than missing a month of school-time! How do you mom's with little one's at home do it, any tips for a mom with 1 yr old twins?

Raw

2007-01-10T21:49:00.000-05:00

Ok, warning, deep stuff in this post as it is a bit of me in the raw ( like the whole blog isn't!) and it is LOOOooooonnnnnngg.

I almost didn't write any reply but the mother in me feels as though she is protecting her pack, so to say. If you go the to post "lab woes", previous to this one, and look at the first response under comments you'll understand what this post is about.

I feel the need to reply to the comment and since it was posted anonymously I have no other means to reach this person than here. I also want to respond in the case that there are others whom feel the same way. First off, I want to thank you for your concern for my older two children and to let you know that I really hope you have been reading into things on my blog a bit differently than what was meant. Second off I feel the need to set a few things straight:

I never, EVER, once went into adoption as needing "to save kids from poverty, and pain". There are so many children in need, how would you know where to start and would you be doing it for reasons of raising a healthy family? If all you want to do is save children, invest time and finances into charities that do so, don't bring an orphan into your family. This is simply the means that my husband and I have used to expand our family. When faced with the option of a difficult pregancy and the idea of me not being able to provide for our birth children during that time, we both revisted our earlier dreams of adopting a child or children that needed a home.

The birthday party is not being done at my birth daughters' expense but rather as a extra-special treat for them. I am sure you read it wrong as this is their first one, before or after adopting. They are big sisters now and that comes with big changes. We discussed finally having a party and agreed on some very basic ground rules (the number of guests and amount of "fluff" that would transpire.) They are as excited as anything about the party and it is about all they can talk about since the decision. Where I come from not everyone has a big party every year and I do not see how finally doing a party for them is at their own expense? Besides since when does throwing a huge party every year with themed cakes, plates, napkins, games, etc. mean that you love your kids more than the person who chooses not to or perhaps can not afford to do so?

The relatives are allowed to hold the babies and love on them and kiss on them and talk as silly as they want to them. However for a short time (approximately 6 weeks) we choose to be the only ones to feed, diaper, and bath the babies as we prefer to be the ones to comfort them when they are upset. Not some strange idea on our part to hog the babies or selfishly hold onto them and exclude others, but suggestions from attachment specialists. This is not to deprive them of family, to deprive the family of them, or to make them different from our birth children. It is to make them feel more like our birth children in the long run. (In fact the older two are more than welcome to help out and they love to help with diapers, as long as they aren't stinky, and to hold bottles... the babies bonding to them are almost as important as the babies bonding to my husband and I.) Trust me I have two grandmas chomping at the bit to do a bottle and bath with these guys and I can't wait to have them let loose so I can spend more one on one time with my older two. We actually did this with our older two, not on purpose like this, but I nursed and both grandparents were uncomfortable with that decision so for awhile they kind of kept their distance until they realized they can help care for a nursing baby.

The Easter Egg hunt in question involved HUNDREDS of kids from the ages of 3-7 all running around and screaming during theatrics done before the hunt would even begin. It was a mess, with no order, and I simply admit of myself that I can not handle large amounts of other peoples children like that. That experience has put a bit of a fear into me of large brithday parties, especially where I am responsible for others' children and the happiness of my own (it is their birthday) all at once. I know how to handle my kids, what makes them tick, how to calm them down, and comfort them. This is something that changes with each child and I won't even pretend to know this about anyone else's child. The birthday party is being planned as to keep me from stressing while providing the girls with a bit of the birthday party little girls dream of. The whole family has been through changes and it is a bit stressful trying to adjust to a new normal, as my husband calls it. A party with 7 young girls (my 2 princesses and 5 others that I know and trust) I can handle and I am so sorry that you didn't read into the sarcasm expressed at the end of the birthday party post.

When we decided to make adopting the twins a go we had to decide a few things that unfortunately were not things we thought about before. When starting this journey we had planned for an acutal adoption date of this coming summer. The idea of adopting twins so soon was one we had to fiscally look at to see if it was possible. We were assured we would arrive home before the new year and therefore the tax returns would help to pay some of what we had not yet saved, so yes I was stressed about tax credits (the adoption credit of $10K per child, not simply another dependant) as they were part of how we financially planned to pay for the adoption. Tax returns, I believe, are mentioned in two posts that are posted under much stress and added finance. The main cause of that stress, more than anything, was missing my older two (a re-occuring theme if you have followed along.) If you recall, my Christmas wish was for my girls to come to me since I could not go to them.

Princesses is a loving term I use for my children, not the pampered, spoiled, and snotty image it may procure, but that they are everything to me...all four of them. It is a term the older two prefer right now as they are at the age of fascination with Cinderella, Barbie, and all girly things in between. I am amazed as each day goes by at how much love can mulitply in the heart. I have the same love for all my children equally, no matter where they came from. It truly is amazing that love isn't something that is just grown in the womb!

My blog is not a need for attention or selfishisness. In fact it is here for long-distance family and friends to read, for fellow adopting parents to read and hopefully learn as I did from other blogs, and more importantly it has evolved into a journal for my children to have when they are grown.

I also want to say that it wasn't simply a "God moment" that has drove me here, but moment after moment and day after day. In my profile it is stated first that I am a follower of Christ and that is part of who I am as much as being a mother to these four precious girls or being a wife of my husband, so yes God is included in everything I do. Adopting these girls was not something done on a whim, or jumped into lightly. I believe whole-heartedly that these twins are part of God's plan for our lives and to that I will make no apology. The turn of events that has happened from the beginning of this process to the very day I arrived home is nothing short of a miracle to our family. My older two are so in love with their litte sisters and I am so proud of them for jumping right into their role of big sisters. I have been meaning to address how it seemed like God disappeared from my posts while in Vietnam, be assured I did not change or forget my faith and relationship with Christ while gone, but did not share that part for the reason of being tagged for censorship while in a communist country. I have heard first-hand accounts of those who have received a visit from the local police to their hotel room after posting what they call "propaganda" in an email, let alone to a public blog. I was there to adopt the twins and did not plan on doing anything to endager that. Even in emailing to friends I typed words differently than normal and omitted words/letters as to keep from being suspicious of wanting to turn the entire country to the Christian faith. I can not tell you all how frustrating it was to not be able to post how deeply I felt at the first sight of the twins that God would entrust them to me, and how unworthy I felt. How upset I would get not being able to daily post how people could pray for me and how God was working through my days. I accounted for much but was unable to give God credit where due.

As far as neglecting my older two, that is a pretty high charge. You are not here for the time we spend reading, the building of hamsters out of puff balls, and the making a lasagna for daddy to eat. I may not journal the early morning hours spent doing paper dolls while the babies sleep near by as the older two just want to be near them or the time we spend working on party invitations, making books, dancing to music in the kitchen, putting glitter in our hair, and all the things that we mothers do with our little girls. I don't include all this mainly because it is an adoption blog and also because my life is so full that if I included it all it would be more like a daily newspaper than a blog! If my older two start acting like they need mommy time, I know it is time to turn on the bouncy seats or find a soft blanket and let the babies play with each other a bit as it is always at the front of my mind that I am a blessed mother of four princesses! If the babies cry for a few minutes while we finish up the last paper-doll, that is ok. If the babies spend some time alone with each other, rather than with mommy in their face all day, that is ok. I have a household of 6 to run and not one person in this house is treated any differently than the other. Adopting two children, in our case twin babies, out of need for attention is not what this mother is about, though perhaps wanting a larger family can be percieved as selfish I feel the charge is unjust.

I am so sorry that you have read my blog and derived things so incorrectly. In the future I will try my best to communicate more clearly and to let it be know when there is a hint of sarcasm (even my husband sometimes asks "is that serious or joking".) Hopefully this post clears any unease you or any reader may feel at my writings, especially my children when they read this in the future. I assure readers that while at first I was a bit ruffled from this response, I will not delete or discourage discussion on here. It is my hope that it was posted in honest concern for my children and I can not fault that.

To the poster of the comment: I hope that your fears are calmed and that I have responded respectfully. I apologize for any confusion my communication style may have played in this. I end with not only asking God to bless just your family, but you as well.

Jenn

Lab woes

2007-01-10T08:51:00.000-05:00

As lab-work is coming back things all look good, HOORAY!

BUT they lost one of Chloe's samples....this is the girl that screamed and screamed and screamed and it took all 4 lab techs to get blood out of her little veins. I am dreading the thought of returning for another draw and hope to do it today as to delay the trauma to both her and me. I just hate the thought of them trying to stick her again and am not sure how to swing the other 3 while holding her down for a couple hours. I suppose it is time to call all those people who have offered to do "anything they can to help." 5 minute warning to not answer your phone gals!

I'd take a whole roomful of screaming 6 year old girls every day for a week over this doom.

Jenn

*edited to add that the latest blood draw went so smoothly that even the techs were amazed! Two pricks, three tears, no screams and we were done. The culprit of this somewhat more tolerable offense? The blood lab did not lose as in misplace a sample, they simply froze one too many. Go figure.

Sleep and Stress

2007-01-10T07:22:00.000-05:00

I was exhausted after monday's photo trip and yesterday being my first day on my own with all four princesses. So, needless to say when the babies went ot sleep at 7:30 (yes I am trying to adjust that to a bit later) I jumped at the opportunity to go to bed early as well. The husband was getting the older two ready for bed and gave me the go-ahead. Imagine my surprise when the first stirrings from our little beauties wasn't until 2:30! 7 HOURS OF SLEEP, AT ONE TIME!!!!! I can tackle to house today with all the sleep I got, that is in between princess meals, clothing and diapering, and thebirthday party preperations.

The older two are having a joint birthday party on Saturday with 5 of their friends invited. I feel like I am lazing out on the whole birthday thing, and this is really the first party Little Bits has ever had (turning 5) while Twinkle Toes has had one. Understand. we have birthdays, but it is grandparents and not the "little girl dream parties" that every girl desires. The pressure has been mounting as the children grow older and attend parties of friends. I am really just not into the whole "theme" and "gift bags" and hoards of screaming little girls running around type of mom...not just with the adoption being completed, ever. If there is one stress or even fear that I have it is hoards of screamig kids of which I have no control. One time, I ruled myself silly for the stress/fear of it all and decided to help out with our church's Easter egg hunt, I was physically ill by the end of the day and knew I could never do it again!

However I knew my girls' little hearts desired a party as they have been planning it for months. With the adoption and attention split now, I figured it was a good year to cave in BUT on moms terms only! I was able to guide them into picking 2 friends each that I know and like for them to play with and they were able to convince me of one more that would feel sad being left out, 5 total (gotta love my girls, they really do think of others and it is nice when it shows up!) We picked out plates, cups, and napkins online (it was pretty cheap too!) The cake has been ordered (I usually do my own as homemade cakes are so much nicer than grocery store cakes, but lets be realistic here), a cool Christmas gift will provide 1/2 hour of entertainment (ballet instruction video, Barbie-style), invites have been sent including directions to dress as a dancing princess, mini pizza making materials have been purchased. All we have to do is survive the two hours with no tears and life will return to normal. I can do this, it's for my girls...I can do this it's for my girls...I can do this it's for my girls.....

Ok, everyone laughing at the above stress you are reading seeing as how I seem to have started my own pack of screaming little girls can quit now. It is so different with you own children and you know it! I'll post pics of the festivities after I survive the day, if I don't I am sure my darling husband will as he is super-dad/husband.

Beauty

2007-01-09T07:10:00.000-05:00

What really is beauty?

beau·ty
1. the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest).

We went yesterday to get our first photos taken. The place we like to go is WONDERFUL with children and now I am even more impressed as they are just as great with babies! Imagine a photography studio that doesn't cringe when you walk in with 2 five month old babies and their two older sisters, rather they get all excited and start digging through the bins to see what to use. The babies for some reason shed that "deer in the headlights" look that they tend to get when I get the camera out and turned into smiles and charm. My older two waited fairly patiently while the babies were oogled over and even sat for a couple of good shots themselves.

Then the best part is that this place is in a mall with a wonderful play area (only one entrance/exit to the area, a whole other topic to be discussed at a later date.) So while we wait for them to touch up the photos and create our own little slide show, the girls get to play, the babies get to eat, and Grandma gets to shop...life is good. Oh and I can not wait to post some of those photos (can I do that so long as I give credit to the studio?) as they are so sweet. I am no good at communicating what I want in a photo session and figure that is what they do for a living, let them do it. I bring m kids, brush their hair, let them know if there is a specific pose I need/want and let them do their job. It always works out well, and this time was no exception. It was wonderful to sit in the front window of this store, play with my older two, and to overlook a couple photographers go nuts over my babies as people drifted by smiling at the beauty inside the studio window.

Funny thing too, I ran into a friend who is also adopting from Vietnam and lives in the same part of the state as I do. Small world and I can not wait to see her little sweeties and have a few play-dates.

So, back to the topic at hand, is beauty the precious faces of my twin baby girls, or any baby at that? Is it the adorable little sweaters we put them in, the cute little looks that are all their own? Is it the love and relationship between sisters, seeing them grow closer as the days pass? Is it the process and gift of both birth and adoption?

For such a small word, beauty carries quite a bit with it.

Clearing the air

2007-01-07T07:24:00.000-05:00

As I go back through my trip accounts, I want to make one thing clear. My agency did nothing unethical or illegal.

Sound silly to some, but others who read the online boards and know how crazy international adoptions can be, it means the world. I am sure some were reading and thinking, poor Jenn...she shouldn't have switched agencies. I am sure others were emailing don't use X agency, that family is having all kinds of trouble. If you hear of an agency that has had NO problems, I'd be a bit afraid of why as things are still new in Vietnam and both governments are trying to find the right way to do things.

Yes things went awry, yes it might have been handled differently, yes I had hoped for easy-peasy. BUT it happened how it did and it really was an unfortunate string of events. Our facilitator did the best she could do with the amount of families she had (7) in the two different provinces that were nearly 5 hours appart. She did NOTHING that would be percieved as unethical and was very adamant about doing things by the book...I respect her greatly as I know she was under much pressure to follow the footsteps of many other agencys, especially when we heard the timeline for embassy appointments. I hope that I never pressured her to do something wrong, and I don't thing that I did.

To those families researching agencies or thinking of international adoption: it is an unstable world that has constantly evolving issues and concerns. All of this is to hopefully protect the children. No one wants to hear that their child was purchased from his or her parents with the promise of a better future for baby and the equivilent of a years income for the poor family. It is child-trafficking...plain and simple. It is so hard to wait, it is even harder to be "stuck" in a foreign country. Though I wouldn't call it stuck (I already miss Vietnam, it is an amazing place), but it is how I felt. The Vietnamese government was making changes that delayed us enough, but then to get caught-up in the back-log of families at the embassy and the internet and communication issues on top of that, ugh! It was very trying and I want to make sure that I communicate well that our agency did nothing wrong through all of this.

There were many factors that affected our process. Had we been in the south, I would have been home at least a week earlier, at least. Had our G&R not been moved, I would have been home at least a week earlier, perhaps more. Were it not for other agencies making appointments before G&R's I might not have been sniffling tears back as I packed a suitcase on Friday morning wondering if I will be going home as I would likely have gotten my appointment earlier. As adoptive parents I can not stress how important it is for us to know the process in our country, to be prepared, and to keep an eye out for things that aren't right. If your facilitator is doing one thing shady, what is to say other things aren't being done properly and where do you draw the line? A good facilitator is key. To some a good facilitator is one who can get things done quickly, to me it is someone who does it right. I would certainly use our agency again, especially now that our facilitator has even more experience.

For our family reading this, no that last line does not mean we are doing this again...but you know us, we won't rule anything out until God tells us to!

Signed,
one who had to clear the air of the dust she might have stirred and the dirt that others try to throw

Dr Visit

2007-01-06T08:43:00.000-05:00

The girls "appear" healthy, happy, and well developed considering. Our pediatrition was super-pleased with how they reacted to him (smiles and giggles after the first few cautious "who are you and where is mom" moments.) They are eating a fair amount for their size, but he wants us to keep only on formula with the exception of one evening cereal feeding. He's concerned to start solids as they do have some catching up to do. They were ON the bottom line of average on the growth charts, which again made him happy. In the two weeks since their clinical visit they have gained a whole pound each, and are now Aubrey 11.5 and Chloe 12.5. I'll have chubby babies before I know it! Even though everything appears good, we still need to do a round of about 16-18 tests on them to check for various diseases, disorders, and illnesses. All but two of these require blood (urine and stool...by the way, I love the little bag they use for baby urine collection, wondering why it is big enough for 2 cups of fluid though???)

So we go acrossed the street to the hospital and proceed to wait. We didn't have a lab appt. so we knew we would wait, but it started getting unusally long. Finally the lab guy comes out and explains that since these blood draws are on such little babies he was working with the lab to make sure he knew exactly how much blood to draw so it would be a one time deal, no returning since we didn't have enough or missed something. Can't argue with that right, besides, the babies had already formed their own little fan club while sleeping in their car seats, waiting their turn. When it was our turn, this mommy was a bit un-prepared for how hard it is to find veins in little Asian babies. IT WAS MISERABLE!!! The poor lab guy was doing everything he could, even building little heat boots and mittens out of hand-warmers to help pull veins to the surface. Finally, Miss Nuk was first, he found a vein he was comfortable with and went for it, got the blood he needed and was done. I switch babies and he comments Miss Thumb is a little bigger so hopefully she'll take half the time. WRONG, we had to endure 3 pokes. He would get the vein, but it would not produce more than one cc. Poor thing was upset, I was almost ill (we left to go do all this at 8 in the morning and now it is 2:30 in the afternoon) and my babies have been SCREAMING. Lab guy was sweating and missing his lunch as well. Finally all four lab tech were in there....one to hold the arm still, the other to help me hold the rest of her still, Him taking the blood, and the other one to massage the arm to keep the blood flowing where it needed to. Sorry anyone trying to get labs done yesterday afternoon, we screwed up the scheduling pretty bad! To top it all off, her urine bag sprung a leak, guess she sweated off the adhesive a bit. After eating and napping the babies were as good as new (as long as lab guy didn't get too close.)

We were done, so we headed to a Chinese restaurant to get some quick food before hitting the road home....turns out it was run by Vietnamese. The babies were tickled to see faces that looked a bit familiar and to hear the language that soothed them for so many months! Small world, huh.

sleep

2007-01-04T10:22:00.000-05:00

I slept last night.

As in, normal sleeping hours for Ohio. I actually slept past 4:30 in the morning. Now, mind you, I was up for bottles and pants, but I slept. The fear of illness was looming as I couldn't imagine jet-lag could be so bad, but now I am back to thinking jet-lag. Yesterday it got so bad I simply crashed. For three hours I napped with the babies, their entire and extended afternoon nap. I got nothing accomplished past noon yesterday, nothing. However before noon I was able to do some laundry fold and organize the babies clothes (did this before we left, but with 3-6 clothes and they simply aren't that big yet, so a re-organize was needed due to the generosity of baby-cousing who donated her old duds.) On a side note, baby cousin is getting so round and chubby, she is about a month younger than these guys but deffinately bigger. I LOVE IT! Chubby babies make the world go around as far as I am concerned. Here I am getting excited to see the beginnings of rolls on my twins' legs.

Tomorrow is our first Dr. visit, so don't expect an update until later from me as it is an early morning appt and about a 45 min drive. Looking forward to what Dr. B has to say about these two little angels. Also a big long list of questions, glad they have us scheduled for 2 hours.

Check the slide show and I'll let you know who is who in a day or so, post your guess in comments. Sorry for the randomness, got a baby wanting to help type! Don't forget the families still processing in Hanoi

Jenn

attachment

2007-01-03T07:48:00.000-05:00

The big "A" word.

Any comments/advice is wecome. I notice that after our 2 weeks together in Vietnam, the twins prefer me over all other...a good step I am sure. So in our arrival home we have set a few "groundrules". The husband and I are the only ones to feed, change, and comfort the crier. Is this enough? Is it too harsh? Grandma's all aound are itching to feed a baby and rock a crier, but we have so far been firm...as I said any advice is welcome. Also, whenever possible, husband is administering care, especially with only having this week off.

We had our roughest night yet last night, but we are getting close to having a schedule so in th end it will be good. I fully expect this time next week to be posting how they sleep the old Vietnam standard of 11 hours with one or two bottles in the night.

Did I mention that attachment advice is welcome?

A family

2007-01-02T06:42:00.000-05:00

We have in our household now what my husband calls a "new normal". It isn't well established yet, I am sure it will evolve, but I can see the beginnings of it. For instance:

I am now a morning person....yep, you all heard me right. I lovebeing up before everyone else after the babies 5:30 bottle. Not that early some of you may say, but for me it is about 2-3 hours earlier than I used to be up and moving. It's quiet, I can accomplish things quickly without interruption, and I like seeing the sun come up. We will see how long this lasts but I am making it a goal to keep it this way.
We also now know that going to the grocery store is NOT a family event. We used to get two carts, each take one kid and split the list. No more of that, the older two have no idea how to handle the freedom of walking around a grocery store as the babies are now in the cart. This is something that will need worked on one older girl at a time, not as a family on our way to my parents' Christmas. Lesson learned.
I am finding, too, that babies clothes may be tiny, but they multiply like rabbits in the hamper...laundry is now a perpetual project and gone are the days of saving it all for one big laundry day. We now will just perpetuate the "what is in the wash" thought day after day.

These are just some examples, but wow have our lives changed. A part of me mourns for the days that seem so long ago, but that is only a small part. Our lives are full and blessed and there isn't a moment that I don't find myself amazed at how our family is just picking up and going with it. Who would have known we would be so flexible? We are making some changes, though. Having the older two in the same bed just is NOT working out. It has been 2 months now and I feel like we have tried everything from seperate blankets to noses on the wall until we are falling asleep standing up. I think we are going to break down and get bunk beds. We knew it would be an issue, hoped it would work out and it isn't. Our house is pretty small and the girls' 2 bedrooms are the smallest rooms in the house. Storing the antique bed they sleep in will be hard as it was given to the oldest by a very dear person to me (whom one part of her name comes from) before she died. I like seeing it and cleaning it and knowing it will be in good condition for her some day, storing it is a bit scary to me......BUT sleep is the key to survival and that key is being threatened. I really think that if they can't touch each other we won't have problems.

That also will solve the problem of stuff. Babies come with gear, Christmas comes with gear, the older two's birthdays here close to the holidays come with stuff...our house is bursting at the seams with stuff and we have already downgraded our stuff. We will be going through this week and ridding ourselves of things we no longer play with and clothes we do not wear. We will be purging old papers and trying to find a system of storage. This will helps us work in the new stuff. Bunk Beds in their room will allow them to keep their toys in their room (no floor space to play there now) and free up the front room for use. We don't like being surrounded by stuff and something has to be done.

Did I mention the husband is taking this week off of work. New year means new round of vacation. He is pretty new at his job, so he doesn't have a lot....I was surprised he kept it off after not returning to Vietnam as the little time he has needs to last us all year. He really wants to work on the afore mentioned "stuff" though and is very anxious to bond with the twins. They arepicking up on him quite nicely though, and will soon realize he is a push-over for his girls! They love to play with his whiskers and are not afraid to look deep into his eyes, I think they are trying to figure out what his role is.

One last thing, I notice that the babies are much more receptive to those with dark hair or a darker complexion. I didn't think much of it, but I was odd man out over in Hanoi, now they are probably wondering who all these strange looking people are. Interesting, for sure.

Please still pray for those families still trying to come home!

first day home

2006-12-31T21:07:00.000-05:00

****Please note that these posts are in reverse chronological order****
*******to view the first entry, scroll to the bottom of the page********

Let me start with our first 24 hours home as there is so much to say and very little time as you might imagine. I'll try to put in a bit about travel as well if no one cries, fights, dirties pants, needs a boo-boo kissed, etc. before I am done.

Our first day back has been nice. On our way home from the airport we stopped at my aunt and cousin's house. It was about a third of the way home and a good place to stretch out (the babies and I), do bottles, and change pants. We then visited with our parents for a bit before heading home, though we would have loved to stay longer...I was exhausted. It was SO wonderful to see my oldest two daughters. They look huge to me, I can't believe how much Little Bits has grown. She is almost as tall as Twinkle Toes and I think her hair grew 3 inches while I was gone (she also lost what little bit of baby fat was left in her face, that was kind of sad to see.) Then we managed to make it home and start in with life. Bedtime went ok, the babies ended up in bed with us and I think that helped us survive the night. We need to get a monitor before we put the babies upstairs at night. The two of them take-up enough room that co-sleeping won't be as easy as it was with our older girls. Besides, they are 5 mo already and it is easy to forget that. They were up a couple times at night and went back to sleep fairly easily. But add to that a dog that suddenly needs walked at night, and the former baby of the family feeling a bit needy and Brian and I both had pretty interrupted sleep. We did make it to church in the morning, not Sunday school though. It was so nice to be in church. Our church truly is our second family and I felt like it had been ages since I had seen them and worshiped with them. This afternoon we visited with more family and then the girls and I CRASHED....as in we were asleep and did hear a thing or even smell the bacon the husband was cooking! Jet lag still has ahold of me, but I think everyday will find me feeling more and more like myself.

My trip was wonderful, relaxing at times, and simply put guided by God. At every turn I had someone helping me. From Hanoi to Hong Kong the flight was fairly short (3 hours?) and both babies slept...one in the baby pack on my front and one on the extra seat I bought. In Hong Kong, we had just enough time to get to our plane (I say we as one of the fathers from our agency was traveling home on the same flights to LA as I was, it was wonderful to have him along and we were able to help each other...he had their 16 mo old adopted son with him.) I was worried about the Hong Kong to LA flight as it was about 11.5 hours and I still did not know if I was able to get two seats side-by-side with traveling that last minute (I went to confirm my flight and get seats right after my "visa" post, 4 hours prior to the plane leaving.) The lady at the CathayPacific office had called the Hong Kong airport as they were worried about me traveling alone with the babies. So, I get in line and turns out my seats are in different rows. I tell them that if at all possible that won't work as I am traveling with two infants. They all smile and said they were waiting for me and gave me new seats side by side. So I get on the plane. Now, they are a Chinese operation and quite frankly their planes are designed with that stature in mind...not a 6 ft American woman who weighs 200lbs (blushing) and carrying 2 diaper bags and 2 infants. I GOT STUCK! There was a spot where you walk between two kitchen areas and it is narrow. I coulnd't go forward, I couldn't go backward...embarrassing. The gentleman behind me took the offending bag that had me stuck and followed me to my BULKHEAD BASSINET seats!!!! I about cried I was so happy to see such choice seats reserved for me. The bathroom was right 3 feet in front of me, there were no seats in front of me, there was the little fold-down bassinet right there waiting to be used after take off, I was thinking I could do it! Then this wonderful flight attendant walked by did a double take and came up to me and said "we have been waiting for you, I am so happy to see you!" Well, I was happy to see someone happy to see me. SHe scooped up a baby and went back to seating people. As she came and went she explained how the bassinet worked, where the changing table was, who the attendants were in my area, and insisted I let them know of anything I needed help with. I sat in my seat with on baby still attached and this wonderful lady (I will say angel!) came by and also offered her help. She almost insisted on taking a baby for take off as they have to be buckled in with you. Then she said to go ahead and give her a bottle and diaper and she would just be my helper. I could see her from where I sat, she had her 2 grown daughters with her and they took care of a baby the ENTIRE flight! It was wonderful and they were so happy to do it. They made my day, and I think I made theirs...what a great arrangement. The bassinet allowed me to sleep while the other baby slept, and speaking of sleeping, they slept for most of the flight. No melt downs, no fussy spells, they were great. I slept more on that flight that I had the past couple nights in Hanoi.

Now, I am not fond of the LA airport, but I was glad to see it. My babies are now US citizens :)
The other father and I stuck together figuring 2 of us to 3 babies was a good idea. We got through immigration for ous quickly and then proceeded over to process the babies. That went well and off we went to get luggage. I only had one big checked bag plus a carry-on I checked so I didn't have to carry it on. He, on the other hand had 4 HUGE bags, his wife did a good bit of shopping and sent most of it home with him! So we grabbed a baggage guy and somehow grabbed the best of the bunch. He loaded up our bags as they came and we then proceded to customs. The line was long and we figured we better settle in a bit. The baggage guy had another idea...he saw a customs officer leave the bathroom close by and simply follwed him with us behind him right to his podium and through we went with no wait. He then proceeded to take us up these HUGE ramps (not sure how he pushed those two carts up them) to where Cathay takes our bags back and gets them to our on-going flights. We tipped him nicely as he saved us alot of time and stress. From there we split ways. There were no food places open in the airport with the exception of deli sandwiches and I proceeded to pay $17 for a chicken salad sandwich and danish with juice as I knew on my domestic flight I would not be fed a meal, let alone the 5-course feasts I was served every few hours on the international flight. I then proceeded to check-in to my next flight were I was almost not let on the plane...long story short he couldn't figure out that I purchased two seats, therefor there were enough oxygen masks for everyone in the row. OH, I forgot security was interesting in LA too. They seemed very stressed there and it looked like a bunch of first time through the US foreigners. Then here I come with a stroller, laptop, liquids in bags, 2 babies, etc etc. SO we go through and got flagged to be searched....not me though, Twin A. That made their night I think having to search a baby for weapons and check her diaper bag for explosives. Glad to help them out :)

The last flight was a bumpy one, but I lived. It is possible I have proved it. LIke I said though, if I needed the stroller folded, there was someone there to do it. If I needed help with a bag, there was someone there. I never asked for help, it simply was there. I know I was being watched over. I know.

Please, Please, PLEASE pray for the families that still wait. Many of them have good and pressing reasons that they need to get home. I am fortunate to be here and wish they all could have traveled as well. It is hard not knowing when you can home. The last month has been one of simply not knowing what is happening the next day. Until the moment I got the visa's I simply did not know if I would be able to bring these girls home. That is scary.

Thank you all so much for your support, it means more than I can say and I promise to keep blogging as I am able.

Signed, me...a mother of 4 girls

home

2006-12-30T20:58:00.001-05:00

I made it! It was so much better than I thought and I had help at every turn, simply amazing.

I promise to post details when I kick this jet-lag a bit...only been home 8 hours.

VISA'S!!!!!!!

2006-12-29T02:56:00.000-05:00

I'm coming home...my plane leaves at 7!!!! Please pray for safe and calm travels for us.

Talk to you all from the other side of the earth soon!

still no word

2006-12-28T21:55:00.000-05:00

I called a few hours ago, and its possible but they still aren't sure. I might be going home tonight! I know they are doing what they can, and I will keep this posted, meanwhile I pack...just in case.

me again

2006-12-28T08:12:00.000-05:00

For the internet being so crazy, I certainly have quite a few posts (you see I sit here and try again and again until it works!)

First things first:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY *****!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU….mommy wishes I could be there for your 6th birthday but I promise I will be home very soon and we will start planning that 12 Dancing Princesses Tea Party for as soon as possible. I love you, Twinkle Toes!

I can’t believe my oldest is now 6, wow. She is growing up so fast and is going to be mommy’s helper I am sure. To think of where we have been the past 6 years, I am sure the husband or I neither one would have guessed that in 6 years time we would be adding 3 more girls to our family. We are so blessed!

Our appointment went just fine, however I do not know when I will get my visas. The problems I mention in the previous post are still there and they simply have no idea when things will be back up and working again. Trying to figure out what to do for flights…it is so hard at this point to figure that I will get the visas as per normal procedure as NOTHING in the adoption has been per normal procedure. Is there such thing as normal procedure in international adoption?

This appointment was also good practice for the airports. I went with one baby in a carrier and the other in-arms. I survived and no one got hurt, so I figure if you add in the stroller that I am taking for the airports, I will do just fine…especially if I am able to get at least one bassinet seat!

Trying not to cry about missing a very important day for a 6 year old and focusing on the excitement of returning home!

Does the DRAMA ever end?

2006-12-27T23:11:00.000-05:00

I got a call this morning asking me if I can make a 1 o’clock appointment for my visa interview!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I promise that in real life (outside of blog-land and adoption-world that is) I am not a dramatic person. This however has pushed me to “drama-queen” status and I can not wait to return home and work on keying myself down some. I have a feeling turning into my driveway, tripping over my dog, and loving on my other two girls will bring out the old me.

Please continue praying, no one else in our group has appointments yet. I am not sure why I was chosen to go first, and I tried to trade. One family here has been here since before Thanksgiving and their small children at home are calling their older sister mommy! Then the other family I have been spending time with has an adoptive daughter at home that has to have neuro-surgery the first week of January. ALL of our families have been here the month of December and it is now time to go home. I hope others got phone calls while I was out getting visa photos for the babies this morning.

Now for the reason I titled it does the drama not end….the internet is spotty at best due to the earthquake that hit Taiwan. Guess how the embassy communicates with homeland security who issues the visas…you guessed it: the internet. The last I check in the families that interviewed Tuesday still do not have visas. SO, there is no guarantee that I will get a visa tomorrow as I would had the internet been working properly. CRAZY!

So glad to have that interview though, it’s my last appointment before preparing to go home!

I’ll keep you all posted,

To those whom replied

2006-12-27T14:37:00.001-05:00

THANK YOU!

Aunt D, know that you guys are in my prayers and please tell Grandma and Grandpa I love them and am praying for his recovery and also that their two newest grandbabies can't wait to charm the socks off of them!

Nicki, you have given me another nights hope in this, and in turn I am hoping to sleep well and glad I checked in with the late night bottles!

Lawmommy and Nina...you are both SO good! I feel like I have real professionals working for me :) Nina, my eyes tend to glaze over at tax info, but my husband will be along soon and be very greatful not to try to look that all up or wait on the IRS hotline for it...I am reading right that we are still eligable for the credits...right?

Stephanie, I know reading my journey can noty be easy as yours is just around the corner. Try not to stress, it will work out fine and thank you for always caring and trying to put things in the proper perspective for me. I do have LOTS of advice to help you out as well.

Others have always helped as well, but you women have made a significant difference in my ability to return to sleep tonight. And as my dear sweet husband says "sleep is the key to handling things well"

And so it goes

2006-12-27T07:56:00.000-05:00

The internet has been off and on due to an earthquake that hit Taiwan, so I will keep this short in order to not tempt the thing to shut me out again.

No call today, I hate typing that. No call.

What that means:
For me to make my flight on the 29th I will have to get a call tomorrow asking me to come in same day OR get a call tomorrow for an appointment on Friday and they will issue a same-day visa….NEITHER of which is something they do.

In other words I will be spending New Year’s in Vietnam. Brian will by flying over to help me finish the journey seeing as it is a new year and new round of vacation. I look forward to seeing him, but was really looking forward to seeing my whole family.

Not sure how the tax thing works out…as of Dec. 13 I am their mother but am figuring it isn't that easy. I have a feeling that even though they are the ones delaying my coming home the US gov’t will say that the adoption doesn’t count until they are US Citizen’s. This is going to really hurt us financially between not getting the adoption credit this year and buying another international flight ticket. I am not sure I will be able to be a stay at home mom anymore, that is the worst of it right there. Do not get me wrong, I like working and often miss having a job, but not staying home would be hard for these two little infants and also my girls who are homeschooled. It will take an already big adjustment and really complicate it all.

Dealing with it better than I thought I would, but very disappointed. I just can’t believe it and I am sure it will take some time to set in.

PS If any of my family out there knows how my Grandpa is doing, please post or email me as I haven’t heard much the last day or so and am a bit worried!

Blog-Year in Review

2006-12-25T22:25:00.000-05:00

I don't have much to post today. Dad leaves this afternoon and I am hoping that tomorrow I hear that I have a second appointment on Thursday. That way I'll make my flights on the 29th.

The holiday weekend was nice as we knew we would not get any news, none! It was wonderful not hurrying back to the hotel in case someone called or waiting around for news on something or other. Now that it will be just the girls and I, it'll not be so hard staying close as I can't imagine going far on my own.

So for lack of better things to post, I'll follow the lead of other's and post my blog-year in review. The way it works is I will post the first line of text I posted each month. Seeing has how I didn't begin posting until July, this will be pretty short:

July-In an attempt to centralize information and answer the same questions less, this blog has been opened.

Aug-We did have our last homestudy last night and it went really well.

Sept-Well, this is Brian. (my husband is much less wordy than me!)

Oct-Today I am taking the girls to the zoo to celebrate. (this was ouur referral!)

Nov-Go check out Nicki's Blog, She had her G&R for her daughter yesterday.

Dec-One more night in the US. (who would have guessed I would not yet be back!)

It was wonderful reviewing my posts and where I have come from...reminds me how strongly I should keep going!

Merry Christmas

2006-12-25T03:51:00.000-05:00

Just a quick post to tell you Merry Christmas.

The day is going well and much shopping has been done. I bwas bgoing to send a small suitcase home with dad, but now I am thinking I'll need to send a big one home with him. Sorry, Brian!

We found a great looking little place to eat, too. It is called the Tamarind Cafe (sp?) and we are going to head that way for supper. I'll update my post to let you all know how it was. (It was wonderfully different! I had miso soup and crispy cheese. The mango and coconut rice was good and the ginger creme brulee tasty. I plan on going back for their all day breakfast menu and seeing what else I can find. It is only about a 2 minute walk from our hotel, where have we been all this time!)

To all my extended family in Ohio, Colorado, and Nebraska I hope that you all are having a wonderful Christmas. I wish dearly to be spending the time with you that I spend here, even though we do not see each other even that often. I appreciate your prayers and think of you all.

To all of my friends that have supported our journey and are following along my family and helping them while I am gone, I appreciate you more than I can say. Your prayers are felt and the warmth you spread lasts longer than a hug.

To all of my online friends that are supporting me, giving me advice, and praying for us. Thank you for taking the time out of your day for someone you may never meet. I hope one day to be able to return the favor.

To my husband and older two girls, the family God has entrusted me with and entrusted me to. I love you guys so much and will be talking to you today I am sure. I hope you eat lots of Christmas cookies for me :)

Christmas Eve in Hanoi

2006-12-24T09:44:00.000-05:00

I hope everyone wakes this morning to have a wonderful Christmas Eve. Today is the day I was supposed to arrive home, but finally I am ok with all of that.

Here are some good things about my extened stay:

We had a wonderful Christmas Eve dinner at AlFresco's with Pumpkin Soup, Turkey, Veal, Ham, Potatoes, Squash, Beans, Cake and Ice Cream along with Mulled Cider. It was delicious and we were with good company. Our friends the P's and the L's were there and there was a child for all the adults around the table.
We then headed over to the very posh Hilton for some Christmas cheer where we met another adoptive family in our agency. There was a blind children's choir singing beautiful carols, a string quartet, and Santa! Then there were the people, all walks of life and different countries. I couldn't believe how wonderful people were to each other and how everyone awed over our babies.
I realized today and tonight how wonderful this extra time is alone with my babies. When I get home, not only will I have them, but also my husband and the older two as well as the house and other obligations. This is such a wonderful chance to grow a strong bond with them. I can not wait for Brian to get here and be able to share that bonding time some. I am hoping that when we get home the girls will still feel strongly attached and I won't have to limit interaction with others so much.

Can you believe I've been their mommy for almost 2 weeks now. Time is flying! I just hope the remainder of my time here includes a fine balance of time that flies and treasured moments.

Check photos as I plan on updating tonight! (I took video of the children's choir, but turned the camera to get a tall shot with the tree for it. Silly me, I can't rotate it upright, sorry, no new video!)

A beautiful thing

2006-12-23T02:12:00.000-05:00

I learned something beautiful about my daughters' names today. Both Hoa and Lan mean flower in Vietnamese. However Hoa Lan (together) means orchid. How significant and a bright spot that I needed today!

It tells us the Hoa was born first with Lan following right behind. I do know that their mother named them and finding that together their names are a flower I have never been able to get bloom is special to me. It also tells me how important it was to her that they stay together, what an honor to be able to fill that request.

I finally have orchids blossoming!

From bad to worse

2006-12-22T23:00:00.000-05:00

Well, if it can get worse here it does.

If I do not make my flights on the 29th, I will not be able to get a new flight until the middle to end of January. So even with my girls' visas, I am not going anywhere.

As miserable as a mother of two beautiful twins all in good health can be.

Jenn

interview

2006-12-22T08:52:00.000-05:00

Our interview went well, I had an interesting time juggling paper work and the two babies!

We have been told that we will likely be here through New Year's...not a good end to an already homesick day. If any of you all see my kids, give them an extra hug from me please!

Jenn

homesick

2006-12-21T21:37:00.000-05:00

I miss Olivia and Grace, I miss my husband, I want to go home.

Our first US interview is today at 1 and from what others are telling me, I am going to be here awhile. Not sure how that is going to work out.

I am re-doing my Christmas wish from the post below. I wish that Brian gets some sort of year end bonus and that it is enough for him AND the girls to come to me since I can't go to them. (I am really dreaming here!)

Will let you all know how the interview goes.

Jenn

Healthy Babies

2006-12-21T06:01:00.000-05:00

We had our medical visit today, which means we recieved our passports before that.

The girls are both healthy and did well for their visits to the SOS clinic. It is a very nice clinic just south of the lake. We are hoping to not have to go back, but will not have to go back, but if one of the girls were not healthy I would not hesitate to go there in a minute. Very clean and very nice bedside manner with the babies.
And for all of you waiting to know exactly how big these babies are:

Chloe is 11.5 pounds and 24.5 inches
Aubrey is 10.5 pounds and 23.5 inches

Seems so small, I think one of my sisters was bigger than Aubrey is now at birth! We were told though that they are develping normally, very little delay in motor skils and that they are on the lower end of the normal range for Vietnamese baby. Not bad for twin orphans! It just goes to show, again, how well cared for and loved these two were in their orphanage. Dr. Beck will be pleased to see such healthy babies and we will be pleased to be home and see Dr. Beck. Oh, by the way, Dr. Beck is one of those doctors that you hope never retires! He was my doctor when I was little, and I have no bad memories of going there and my mom thought he was great. After bringing Olivia and Grace there for 5 years now, I agree. The one thing you will hear often from him is "you are the babies mom, you tell me what is wrong or what your concerns are and we will go from there." Now, that is not to say that he doesn't do well-checks, he does a very thorough exam. Another thing I like about him is that he does not over-prescribe meds.

Ok, I am rambling. That is it for today as all of that pretty much took the entire day. Please keep praying for us that we will be able to make our flights on the 29th. I can not imagine missing one more week of my other girls' lives. I am already missing one birthday, can't imagine missing another.

Jenn

Beautiful

2006-12-20T02:28:00.000-05:00

The weather here is so beautiful right now. In the mornings it is cool and sometimes a bit misty, but by noon the sun is out and the temps top off at around 72 degrees. Simply wonderful.

We spent last night oogling over the babies and getting more laughs from them. We also discovered that Chloe is getting teeth in, and probably Aubrey but she won't let you in her mouth to look. Supper was in room PB&J with fruit as the girls went to sleep a little early for the night and we were a little tired.

In adoption world:
We have our medical appointment and get our passports tomorrow (Thursday) and then have our first embssy appointment on Friday. Then we have a long weekend looking at us as it is Christmas weekend and some places will be closed on monday for the holiday. I am hoping we can go someplace a little western to enjoy some sort of Christmas cheer that day, it'll help pass time and keep our spirits up.
Speaking of spirits up, we really are doing well. I get sad sometimes talking to Olivia and Grace, BUT know that it won't be long until we head home, 10 days to be exact. That isn't long really, when you think about it. We should find out Friday when our second appointment is and therefor when we will be going home (you can leave the day after your last embassy appointment so long as that day is a business day.) Needless to say I am hoping for Tues, Wed, or Thurs. so we can head out before the weekend and New Year's.
Also in adoption news, the families here with us from another province had their G&R yesterday and arrived back late last night. So nice to see a new little face around the breakfast table and I look forward to meeting the other little ones.

The rest of the day will be spent palying with and keeping the twins happy (not easy some days, for sure) and also contemplating if everything will fit back into the luggage we brought. I am thinking I might go ahead and pack all our purchases up into one of the bags just to fool myself into thinking we are almost there. I shouldn't say fool myself, rather that it keeps me busy and helps me get prepared to go. I know it won't be easy to pack up...how do you decide what you really need on the plane and what you don't? I guess so long as we have the girls' immigration papers, formula, and our passports we will make it just fine and I need to not worry about it.

We also are having dinner tonight with the hotel manager. He has been so wonderful to us all and wanted to have a celebration dinner for all of us here adopting (4 families at this hotel.) It says alot to me as this is not a large operation. 6 floors with 6 or so rooms on each floor. He is genuinely happy for us, and really wants to celebrate with us. That is how the people are here. Their kindness and spirits really are genuine, the way they treat their children is precious, their land is lush. You should see some of the gardens here. I hope to take some photos on our way to the airport of the huge cabbage, the fields of corn, and row after row of rose bushes. I can really see why the tourism here is flourishing. The country is rich with varied history, has many old structures, and is simply beautiful to see.

I hope others are able to come here after me, if not to adopt the children needing families, just to visit and see the land.

Jenn

new video

2006-12-19T05:59:00.000-05:00

We accidentally discovered belly laughs tonight! The video shows them hamming it up while I get their belllies. Now don't worry this didn't last long as you can see I was in the middle of undressing Twin B. As soon as you show them water and the idea of a bath hits them, they scream until it is done. It was fun though and we plan on perfecting thos laughs.

Our flights have been rescheduled for us now. We leave on the 29th and arrive home on the 30th. That will be exactly 4 weeks after I left. When starting this I would never have imagined, but it is what it is.

Enjoy the video and as soon the as the girls are down I plan on adding in some photos too.

Holiday Cheer

2006-12-18T10:38:00.000-05:00

I hate my last post sounding so down, but really do not want to delete it. Down and out is how I am feeling and it represents our journey.

In looking up:

The families that traveled with us that have yet to have their G&R are still on the schedule for tomorrrow. It is very exciting and it has been my prayer (shamefully not all along, but I did come around) that if for some reason only their G&R could happen or our earlier appointment, that their G&R would win out. Those babies need their mommies, and those mommies have waited so long for their babies. Here is still hoping that tomorrow brings 4 more babies into our group!

A bit of holiday cheer from Nicki She posed a few holiday questions that we all should stop and think about and perhaps we have tips to share. Leave your answer in my comments or post it on your own blog, but let us know so we can check out your answers. I will answer as well as my swiss cheese brain can at 11PM at night in foreign country:

What is the one holiday ritual you would absolutely never give up? Buying an ornament every year for my girls. My mother started that for me as I was a baby and it was such a joy the first year I was married to decorate our tree with pieces of my life up until that point.

What is the part of the holidays you find the most tedious and exhausting? Clean-up! Those who know me in real life are laughing now at how true that is.

What is the worst or weirdest gift you have ever received? Slippers you can't walk in...good in theory, but not execution. In all fairness, they have heat pillows in the bottom to help your feet warm on cool nights. Our addition has hardwood floors and my feet were cold, so it was thought to be a good idea. However, we rarely watch TV or do something where you would just sit for awhile with your feet up. I am up and down a fair bit and would be warming my feet one minute and hating the cold floors the next even more than before the warm slippers.

What is the most memorable gift you have ever received?Wow, does the birth of my first daughter on the 28th count...or perhaps the following year when her younger sister was born only 2 weeks later...maybe these two I watch peacefully sleeping (peacefully for now that is) that I will bring home in that same time frame? I think though I have to count Christ as the most memorable gift, though it wasn't Dec 25th that I discovered the truth, I count every Christmas as one to remember how precious it is. It is no wonder Brian has a hard time buying me a gift, I feel sorry for him when reading what I wrote...how can you top all of that (though the bike I got last year was great...some may laugh, but he paid good attention to detail. It is lightweight, can put a basket on the front, a baby seat on the back, and the seat is BIG and CUSHY...everything a woman could want in a simple bike!)

What is the one thing you do to make organizing your holiday a little bit easier? Try to hammer all the families down on a date to get together. Between grandparents, great grandparents, our own celebration, and other organizations, it gets a bit mind boggling...the earlier you set a date the better chance you will have a seeing us for more than the minimal time required. It stinks, but I learned a few holidays back that you simply have to make what you can and save your sanity.

If you could make one holiday wish, this year, what would it be? To be home with Brian, Olivia, and Gracie (and Chloe and Aubrey too!)

7 days until Christmas, have you taken time to spend with family rather than doing the holiday rush! Don't take it for granted, and give all your family an extra bit of love, just simply because they are there with you and you can.

Jenn

Gonna be here awhile

2006-12-18T07:32:00.000-05:00

Well, it looks like we will be spending Christmas in Hanoi. Perhaps we will head to the mountains for a couply days, or maybe Halong Bay. I will be home before New Years, though.

Spent most of the day waiting for news, and was glad to finally hear it, but upset at the same time. I REALLY miss Olivia and Gracie.

The girls were pretty cranky today. I am hoping that tomorrow isn't as bad, even with having a baby before that was a cryer, crying is hard. You want so badly to be able to do something for them! They are so adorable though and one little smile melts it all away!

Hoping you all are having a good start to the week and are preparing for Christmas.

Jenn

sunday

2006-12-17T08:06:00.000-05:00

Today is/was sunday, we are getting ready for bed. The babies are already asleep. We had a tiny bit of crankiness tonight, more than usual that is. I am not sure if they simply were really tired from our day, or perhaps just not feeling well. Tomorrow will tell.

Today we went out for a nice lunch at a place called "Bobby Chinn." That is my new favorite spot in Hanoi. The food was outstanding...think 5 star quality food at Olive Garden prices. Dad had Filet Mignon with coconut sticky rice. The rice was the best thing of all we had and we are debating if we should go back and try to order just that. I had salmon on wasabi mashed potatoes...just the right kick to the potatoes. Best meal here, beautiful atmosphere, and a window seating looking out across the road to the lake. We wil make sure to go back at least once.

Other than that, we played with the babies. They are getting harder to tell apart as Aubrey is realy rounding out a bit. She is chubbing up and her face is rounding out a bit more like Chloe's. They seem to take turns switching between being happy go lucky and cranky...as in yesterday was Chloe's day to be cranky, and today was Aubrey's. I know part of this is still the whole getting used to a new life thing, and the changes in schedule and all.

Changes I've noticed in the girls
They are really starting to kick around. They love having their legs free and open and I am glad I brought baby gowns (we always called them baby-in-a-bag's) so they keep their legs warm, but flexible. When I first brought them back Aubrey would not put weight on her legs, but now bounces around pretty good on them while Chloe is even more advanced. It's the same way for their heads. At first we had limited head control and movement, but now Chloe can do tummy-time without getting to upset and look around most directions while on her tummy. Just today Aubrey really got her head up and around during tummy time. It is amazing to see them growing and doing so much in only 4 days.

Tomorrow we will hear more on our status here and perhaps how long we will be having to stay...hoping for our flights booked on the 23rd!

Jenn

our day thus far

2006-12-16T02:55:00.000-05:00

Finally recieved dad's luggage and the items Brian sent for me...another pair of long pants and some warmer shirts. I only brought one long sleeve shirt and the cooler days get even cooler in the evening. Nice to finally have things in hand.

The girls are having a good day, very little crankiness and the sad faces are melting away. The pictures that I added to the slide show above are of them today. We survived our first bath. I say survived as it really scared them. Once we were almost done, they almost seemed to enjoy it, but not a bit at first. It is so nice smelling sweet baby smell now, their little heads are so soft and pretty smelling now!

We went to Highlands for lunch, it was good and filling. Then bought some warm mittens for the babies as well as silk coats. That way they can wear them when we go out and about and no one has to worry that they are too cold. Everywhere we go, people smile. The Vietnamese really love children. They all want to know how old they are, if they are eating, and if they are twins. Very fun to watch peoples reactions.

That is it for now,
Jenn

Good Morning to Us

2006-12-15T19:02:00.000-05:00

Well, a good nights sleep works wonders doesn't it!

We turned in at 8 when the babies did, were up at 1 for a bottle, then again at 5. The difference with this morning compared to the last two mornings was that the 5 o'clock awakening was not a sad one, but a happy one. We smiled, we laughed, we played and talked to each other...a nice change from the sad mornful cries we have done the past two mornings. After that we changed pants, had a small meal and went back to sleep. They are starting to stir so I imagine they will be up soon. I hope so, my tummy says it is time to eat!

Also, I am working on uploading some new video. I am hoping to get it done soon, but it all depends on the connection which is not as good from my new room. I must not have done pics yesterday, so sorry, the video will have to do. They take turns being cranky, thankfully, as both of them crankin' would be hard. In the video I am trying to get going, Aubrey is crankin' and Chloe thinks it's a tad bit funny. They love talking to each other, and even hold hands some, you'll see a bit of that in the video. I am not sure why but when I get the camera out, they tend to get that deer in the headlights look.....mouth slightly open, eyes wide.

Looking forward to another day with half of my girls, missing my other two very much!
Jenn

Good Morning to You

2006-12-15T06:52:00.000-05:00

It is morning back home and everyone is waking up...I am ready for bed!

The babies are already asleep so I will keep this short.

Long day really. We moved to a bit bigger room, bigger as in a couple feet this way and that. I am so glad we did as it is a bit quieter and the extra floor space is wonderful. About the time we arrived in our new room, my dad arrived. The taxi he took from the airport took him to the wrong hotel and before he could say anything the guy drove off. Long story short, my dad took a motorcycle here :)

An early supper and now we are off to bed. I did get some new video of the twins and hope to post it in the morning, so check back before you go to bed. I miss my kids, but am still enjoying my time here. It is really nice having an extra pair of hands!

Jenn

1st day together

2006-12-13T23:06:00.000-05:00

What a day and what a couple of sweeties I have!

Boring stuff first:
Went to apply for passports today and they no longer let you expedite it. I was dissapointed to say the least. Everything all hinges on one day now for us to make it home by Christmas. ONE DAY...as in on the 21st I will have to go at 10AM to get the passports, then go straight to the medical which takes 4 hours to process and then hope against hopes that I can get that last interview at no earlier than 4 on the 21st as they issue Visas the next day (the 22nd) and our plane leaves the 23rd (a saturday) It feels very stressful, it does, BUT I am not going to worry as it does no good and before or after Christmas, home is home. I do want to make it home in time for Olivia's bday on the 28th and also the babies first appointments with Dr Beck that day as well. PLUS, I have super good seats on that flight (the 23rd) that I do NOT want to give up, 3 of four seats in the second bulkhead row with TWO bassinets. These babies sleep laying down, not being held and I do not want to mess with that no matter how tempting!

On the babies (i.e., the fun stuff!) :
THEY ARE SO SWEET!
We are slowly but surely adjusting to bottles. I have found that a good wide-base silicon nipple with the formula as hot as safe, then lay it on it's side for about 2 minutes to get the nipple really soft and warm. That is the only way they will do bottles, and that is only if they are in an exceptionally good mood or if they are so tired they don't notice...forget it if they are mad and hungry!
Clothes, they are long, so footed sleepers (I only brought 6 each!) are snug, doable but snug. In the new pics you will see them in their blanket sleepers of which I wish I had brought a dozen of. They snap for legs or a gown making them great to put over clothes when heading out and about and also easy at night to change pants. Very warm and soft and even covers their hands fairly well.
Aubrey is having bad dreams or something. She slept with me last night and a couple times while still asleep would jerk her head around and get the saddest little cry face. I feel so bad for her and patting her softly seems to help. On the sleep thing; their nanny made a point to show me how they will go to sleep when you lay them down. Make sure they are tired, but not mad and let me tell you if works like a dream! Right now they are both snuggled up to each other on the bed by my legs and snoozing away all snug and warm. I am keeping my room warm as they are not used to the AC, they are layerd inside of the blanket sleepers, I am in a tank. Seems to work though as if they get chilly (as in doing a quick sponge bath) they get mad. They prefer to be warm and cuddly.
Last night we were up the one time I posted and they woke around 5:30, I figured to eat, but not so. It was like they wanted to know I was still there and that they were safe and as soon as they saw me and I talked to them a bit, off to dreamland again until breakfast at 8. A decent nights rest for the first night, more sleep than I have been getting the past few nights anyways. Today Aubrey stayed with another mom while I went to go apply for the above passports. Chloe went with me and rode in the Baby Bjorn. I tried my sling first, but no way, she likes to see more of what is going on and does not have the head control down yet to ride more upright in the sling. She was wonderful, napped in the taxi smiled real sweet at all the people there, and cooed on the way back. Aubrey was good here and after getting abck to the room (I did it without a stroller!) we had 4 oz of very warm formula each (see above) and a quick sponge bath. I am dying to get them a real bath, but know that they are still a bit traumatized and need to let them settle in some first. I did lotion them though and they loved that...smelling like lavendar baby lotion now, MMmmmmmm. Sleeping away and I plan on joining them as soon as I load up some new pictures for you all.
I will try to keep posting as I have a spare moment or two and please be thinking about us and the tight deadlines we would like to meet. I'll be so happy to make our original flights, but will be okay if we miss them, just hate to miss Christmas.

Jenn

1st midnight feeding

2006-12-13T13:33:00.000-05:00

Wewent to bed at 9:30, 4 hours later we seem to have a rumbly in our tumbly.

I love sweet, soft, nightime baby sounds!

Jenn\

More details

2006-12-13T08:10:00.000-05:00

I could NOT sleep last night as I was so anxious for today, so I am really tired right now and a bit stressed, forgive the typos and things that make no sense in advance. The girls just tuckered out and after I eat my soup that is brewing while I type, I plan on joining them.

We left the hotel at around 10Am for Hung Yen. Our orphanage was the first stop and there I got to change them and tell their nannies good-bye one last time. Then we go on to the other orphanage in Hung Yen. The actual G&R was very quick, no big speeches or anything, mainly just signing papers. After that we went from place to place filing some papers in preperation for the babies passports and then back to Hanoi.

It was very hard taking the girls from all they have ever known. They are so sad and upset, they don't sleep the heavy relaxed sleep they slept at the orphanage the other day. They are just not happy little things right now. They want badly to play a bit and smile, but most smiles break down into these little pouty faces and end with tears. My heart is aching for them. They do not like bottles, I have tried latex and silicon, orthodontic and "like mom", 4 different types and it does not matter. Reminds me very much of Gracie when I tried getting her to do bottles a little and that was with breastmilk. These poor things will only take a bottle after a huge fit and then with tears running down their faces...it's hard. I just know they were being nursed. They do not get excited at the sight of a bottle, or the smell or taste of formula. I am glad as that is best for them, but sad as it is one more thing they are giving up. Wishing I had built up a bit of a milk supply before coming, just in case.

They are so adorable and in size 0-3, tiny for being 4.5 months old. I expect tomorrow to be better for them and the day after that even better. We go at 9:30 in the morning for something that has to do with passports, my brain is a bit fried and I can't seem to remember where that is or what the official name is, so sorry. Going to eat and re-pack diaper bag while doing so, that way I am ready to go for tomorrow and do not have to worry in the morning....getting out the door is going to be much harder than before!

Thank you to you all for keeping with me in the deep dark of all this. I did post some orphanage pics of the babies, don't have time or energy to upload new right now. Need to sleep when they sleep as they say. I promise more photos will follow, though perhaps not until my dad arrives as they need me right now more than you need pics...so sorry about that but a mommy has to look after her girls. I will tell you though that they are little angels with the sweetest little faces!

Take care all and here is presenting Chloe Hoa Hattery and Aubrey Lan Hattery, as named by their forever mommy and daddy. Born on July 27th, 2006 in the Hung Yen province of Vietnam and given the names Cao Thi Hoa and Cao Thi Lan at birth by their birth mommy.

Jenn who is ready to go to sleep on cloud 9!

We have them

2006-12-13T06:26:00.000-05:00

The babies are here

I am a mother of two twins that I think were nursed. In other words we are NOT liking a bottle

More later

Jenn

I think this is it!

2006-12-12T20:31:00.000-05:00

No phone calls last night or this morning!

No dissapointing emails!

Is this finally the day?

We leave at 10 and I am an excited, emotion mess. I won't believe it until it is happening, but I do believe today is THE day. My next post will be done with babies in-room and full of photos and all kinds of wonder...might even update the blog template. Who knows what surprises you will find on "2 more to love" when you wake in the morning....I don't even know!

Jenn

Here is the skinny

2006-12-12T09:33:00.000-05:00

While I would love to post in caps that tomorrow I will be officially a mother of four, I can't bring myself to do it. I used to joke with the gals here that when the van pulls up I will believe it. Now that I know we have a date AND time I still have a hard time believing it. I think I will believe it when I sign the papers and write my and my husbands name in the book making it official. I am all woozy (not sure if it was last nights supper or nerves!) I will be taking all kinds of pepto and other stuff just in case as it looks like tomorrow is really the day. Now after all the crud you all have been reading, I am sure you as well as me, are thinking "Hmmm, well we hope, we'll see though." It's rotten really, but there is hope. I am still unsure that we will make it home for Christmas, though I do plan on trying as we have really nice seats and flights and I hate to mess with it unless ABSOLUTELY necessary.
What on earth is going on? Great question and wish I could explain it fully. Here is my best attempt:
At home we have National gov't and State gov't, here there is Hanoi and the provinces. At home the Nat'l gov't pretty much runs it though it allows the states some give and take on certain issues. It does not work that way here at all. Even though the law states that a G&R is to be issued x# days after this form clears, etc. it simply is not that way. It is not their culture and it is not something they are used to doing. The provinces way more power over what is happening in their province than Hanoi does so if the official from the Department of Justice decides he wants to not go to work tomorrow and there is a G&R scheduled it gets cancelled. That along with the "we would rather make you happy then tell you bad news" thing made for a rough start for us. There were meetings in Hanoi that our officials HAD to be at on monday and tuesday. That knocks off two of the dates we were told would work for a G&R. Why we didn't go last week is reasons like the above province example. Could we wake up in the morning to an email stating that so and so can not make it and we have to wait till Thurs? yes Is that likely at this point? no How sure are we on tomorrow? not sure, but know that both our in country rep and our director both are very secure on this date and that is encouraging.
Our van leaves at 10AM...think I'll start stalking the lobby at about hmmm I don't know 6! Not sure I will be able to sleep tonight, but hoping not to have too much trouble as my nights of un-interrupted sleep are hopefully over for awhile!
I will post before leaving tomorrow and am really hoping the two Dept's that are in charge all have quiet, healthy evenings with the lives of all they know being boring and drab for the next 24 hours!
Jenn

More trouble

2006-12-12T04:56:00.000-05:00

Well, you try to keep your chin up and to not hit rock bottom. It isn't easy when you are in another country to adopt and have NO G&R date. Simply isn't easy. Then you find out others are in your shoes and you hurt for them as well. It turns out not just the 3 families from our province but the other 4 families who are in another province are not having their G&R as well. My heart breaks for them as I know how hard it was to swallow that news last night. Most of them are single moms and I can not imagine going through this without the support of my husband, they are certainly stronger than I.

One of the directors of our agency has flown in and we all are meeting at 8 tonight. I am nervous about it. We all want answers and I am afraid they will have none or that it will be tense. At first I was okay with it all thinking it was just a provincial thing, now I am afraid it is an agency thing and it makes me ill to even think that. If you can not trust your agency over here, who can you trust? I am really hoping I am wrong and that all of this will get ironed out and smoothed over in no time. You know, one of those things you look back on and laugh at, however I left home 10 days ago....it's hard to imagine getting to the point that all of this is funny. I am trying not to jump to any conclusions and am trying not to lay blame on anyone, but am to the point that some solid truth answers are not only welcomed but necessary.

In good news I drug myself out of here with friends today, it was nice to get out and seems to help keep my spirits a little stable. I also bought a stroller with handles tall enough for me! I can not find one in the US, so had to get it here, funny huh (see these are the things we look back on and laugh at, not sitting for 10 days in a foriegn country with NOTHING!) It is pretty nice, folds easily like an umbrella stoller, but lays back flat with the foot part folding up kind of like a buggie, but the baby not facing you (handle doesn't switch to a pram-style.) I really think both babies would comforatble in it if need be, though I plan on wearing one of them as much as possible. There are many places here in Hanoi that it will not be practical, including the block we live on. So if I am headed south to the lake I'll take it, if not leave it, and if I take it I'll just have to be really cautious to choose a slow but steady path. I do know however it will be wonderful for the flight home and getting around in the airport. If I can wear one/push one or push both, dad can struggle with the luggage and we might have a chance at making our connectings! Oh and the best part, the price. While not a bargain at 400,000 VND (around $25 USD) it certainly wasn't a rip-off as the ones in the supermarkets are running around twice that amount for less of a stroller!

I AM READY FOR THESE BABIES, ARGH! 8 o'clock seems hours away and I simply can not wait to hear what on earth is going on! I will of couse keep the blog posted and I also want to say thank you for those that comment and email, it means to world to me sometimes to hear that you care and that people are thinking of us. It is easy to slip into feeling a bit along over here even though I have wonderful families that I am traveling with and am able to talk to home for free like they were in the next room. Trying so hard not to jump to any conclusions and lay blame, hoping this meeting helps a bunch!

Jenn

No Babies Yet

2006-12-11T19:18:00.000-05:00

Just a quick post to inform you all.

We do not have the babies yet.

Yes I am frustrated, but all that can be done legally is being done. We have a very ethical agency and they will not go outside the bounds of that. Our province however is being a bit of a stinker in that they lead us and our agency to believe one date and cancel at the last minute. VERY FRUSTRATING!

I was angry last night when I heard the news, right after packing the diaper bag no less. However, a good nights sleep (amazingly) help much and the anger has fell. I know everything that can be done is being done. I know that our agency is as frustrated as we are and doing all they can. I know those are my babies, and that soon they will be mine forever...I just was really hoping for today. The cultural differences are hard to accept sometime and here they would rather lie to you than dissapoint you. A good lesson to share with my children, as in the end a lie (or misleading someone) hurts no matter what and it does catch up with you.

As soon as I have news I will post it on here as I know family and close friends check often. I want to be sure to tell you all that I am fine, though looking forward to dad coming. The babies are fine and there are no problems with them or their paperwork. Things just work very differently over here a world away.

More later
Jenn

Touring the city

2006-12-11T05:02:00.000-05:00

We had a wonderful tour this afternoon, it was so informative and was also very relaxing. We strolled throught the Temple of Literature, went to the Ho Chi Minh Massoleum, Presidential Palace, One Pillar Pagoda, and also saw a very ornate Pagoda that I can't think of the name for right now to save my life! Our guide was very good at what he does. We were told all kinds of facts about the city and the places we went to (Temple of Literature's first areas were formed around 1040) and also lots of info on the relations between our two countries. He was very quick to answer questions and was glad to be of service. I am hoping perhaps we can arrange another trip with him again as it was so nice. I'd like to do a cyclo tour of the Old Quarter and since it is a moving thing, perhaps the twins would be entertained.
One of the gals here has her parents along to help with her two children. The youngest however was so overwhelmed with Hanoi that she ended up going home with her Daddy (he left the same time Brian did) Now her mom is feeling like she needs a grandchild to help with, I of course welcomed her to my room to cuddle a baby anytime she likes! She even offered to help on the trip home...think my dad will give up his trip here? I doubt it as he seems excited to visit the country.
I am in much better spirits today, getting out and about helps me quite a bit. I am looking forward to tomorrow getting the babies, but have kept my heart guarded just in case. To think, tomorrow it will be all official and they will be my children! I can't imagine and can't wait, but will still try to keep cool about it just in case. When that van pulls up to our door, though you better believe that I am going to be jumping up and down excited...have to remember to bring a carrier though, as I am not sure how I'll ride in this traffic without at least one of them being attached or strapped in somehow!
I will try to go update the slide show now to reflect some of the beauty and history I was able to experience today.
Jenn

Visiting the twins

2006-12-10T07:40:00.000-05:00

We went visiting again today and for more than 15 minutes too! It was so wonderful to see them again and to be able to hold and care for them. The two highlights of the trip for me was when I got there they were asleep in their little hammock, but just kind of stirring. So the noise of all our "enterouge" (sp?) woke them up a bit and as they looked up and saw me they smilled away like I had never even been gone! How sweet and totally melting! THEN, I knew which was which, I asked to be sure, but I did know! I bought some nail polish to put on ones toes just to be sure as I would REALLY hate to mix them up and just not know. But already I am able to tell them apart. The down side of the visit was that it was even harder to go. It was all I could do to hold back the tears. I am so in love with those two little flowers (their Vietnamese names are two different flowers) and can not wait to be loving on them day and night.
One thing I found interesting today. The Vietnamese consider older children and special needs children un-adoptable. The orphanage my girls are at has many children but when asked if they were adoptable, the answer given was "oh no, they are disabled and too old" We are talking age 4 and up and disabilities ranging from malformities to near blind to developmental issues. It took awhile to figure out that the reason they are un-adoptable is because who would want to adopt them, I couldn't believe it and tried my best to explain the the little blind girl with glaucoma or cataracts could have a chance at seeing and a normal life with help and that there are people out there that would consider her a beautiful addition to their family. Here they are simply the unwanted...it is sad, but with the type of income most have, they simply can not deal with these type of medical issues. I hope that type of thinking turns and some agencies are able to open the door to finding homes for these children.
I am dying to post all the wonderful pictures I have of the twins on here, but must wait until after the G&R as my agency suggests. They are so cute and sweet, Chloe is such the talker and social-bug while Aubrey is very quiet and ovservant. They both love their nanny though very much and I know it will be hard for them not to see her anymore. I have some very beautiful footage on the video camera of her singing to Aubrey, something I know the girls will treasure as they grow into their adult years...to see and hear how much they were loved, that they were not simply cast aside or laying in a crib without end or attention.
I have given up much hope on flying home at my regular scheduled time (early morning Christmas Eve) but there is still a chance. The cultural differences are so big, it's hard to tell what is a solid and sure thing and what isn't. I can not wait to get to the u s side of things. Meanwhile I still am enjoying Hanoi, I can not wait to see the city some more tomorrow on a tour we have planned. It will be nice to relax and let my brain check out for a bit. Seeing more and more Christmas decor, even the store fronts are decked out. Sorry, forgot to get pics of those in winter wear, but I will, I promise!
Have a good day as I get a good nights rest,
Jenn

It's tough sometimes

2006-12-09T04:45:00.000-05:00

Well, Brian just left for the airport...that was hard. I can not tell you how hard that was. His taxi was here early, we were hoping for late. He will be glad to be home once he gets there I am sure, and I can guarentee the dog will be glad to see him and then later in the day our oldest two. It was sad saying goodbye though as since we started dating in highschool I do not think we have spent more than 2 weeks apart. Can you tell I am dependant upon him, perhaps to a fault! I can't wait to hear that he has made it home though and the day will be busy tomorrow so that will help immensly.
Tomorrow we go to the orphanage again. I can not wait as I am really wanting to see the twins again. This time we are planning on going early in the morning, that way lights or no lights we should be able to see where they stay and be able to visit longer with them. I have gifts to bring for their nannies and in the previous post I mention the balls and candy for other children that live there. Can't wait!!!
Adventures today:
We figured anything we could send home with Brian we ought to as he was after all not going to have any children with him. So today was last minute shopping. We hand-picked chopsticks (service for six, of course) along with little rests that look like fish, and a very nice box. I really liked the box she was trying to sell us and I know Brian didn't want to spend that much. It has inlaid mother-of-pearl depicting a quiet pagoda scene and there is one long section for the sticks and then 3 little divided sections for the fish to pair up. I know it is something we will tresure for time to come. I also went back to the smocked dress shop just in case I wanted somthing else, but did not....did I mention that shop? BEAUTIFUL hand smocked sundresses, I was able to get 4 for around $6 each! 100% linen, all hand embroidered and smocked, and simply too cute. I look forward to the day I can post pics of the twins in them, though it might be awhile as tiny as they are. We also went looking for bedding. I found a silk blanket/quilt/ covering that would fit our bed in the colors I want to do our bedroom, the price was unbelievable, but we are adopting here so many of you know we are now officially broke! It was nice to finish up the shopping though and get that all packed to be sent home...it is just too bad I had to send my husband with it all.
We had lunch at a little place called Mama Melrose, it was ok. Right close to the lake and very Italian menu. It was nice, but not sure I will go back as I am not a big marinara or pesto sauce person and most of their menu had red sauces while the white sauce I had did not agree well with my tummy (which was almost 100%, though now a little touchy after that meal.) We did stop by at Highland's for a quick drink and some people watching. I will be sure to take a picture from up there sometime. It is on the 3rd floor of a building that overlooks a very busy intersection with no traffic lights or signals. I love it up there, it reminds me of Starbucks a bit as it is a coffee shop/cafe and there are big comfy chairs, tables outside, and a huge fireplace.
Reminds me of one more thing, everyone here is wearing winter clothes...you know sweaters, coats, mittens, etc. We get the biggest chuckle out of it as it has been over 70 every day but one and yesterday hit 80. We were warm yesterday without shorts, but did ok as long as we stayed out of the direct sun. If they are dressing this warm now, I can not imagine what the heat is like in the summer!
Counting the hours until I get to experience more of all my daughters' have ever known and then just 2 days after that they become a part of our family for good. Life is good, it is tough sometimes, but it is so good!
Jenn

Long Day

2006-12-08T14:46:00.000-05:00

What a day. I can't even remember what I posted previously so forgive me if stuff seems redundant.

On the adoption front things are finally making sense. We do have a G&R date of the 13th and I am counting down the hours until I get to bring the twins "home" to the hotel with me. It will be a hard weekend, but we are going to visit on Sunday in the morning, I expect it will be a longer visit than we had the last time and I hope to be able to play with them and interact with them more. I say I because Brian will not be there. Our travel agent emailed us to let us know that there was a change in Brian's scheduled flight on sunday and to head straight to the airlines office to work it out. Long story short, Brian would have to leave earlier on Sunday only to arrive home on the same flight (11-12 hour layover in L.A.) or he had the choice of his previous schedule the day before or the day after. So since we have really just been touring, we have decided to send him home a day early. We both miss the older two so much and this way he will be home with them when they arrive home from Florida. It will also give him about half a day to sleep before they get there and hopefully that will help him with the jet-lag that we both dred quite a bit. I am going to miss him. I do look forward to dad coming on Friday though, and only monday will be spent alone as the babies will keep me company from Tuesday on...in fact I have a feeling we will be very busy with appointments and lovin's from the minute I get them! We are hopefull to make our flights home, but I am not going to hold my breath....if we make them it will be picking up the babies Visa's THAT day as the schedule has no room for error. I can not imagine it will be too hard to hit US soil before the end of the year though and ultimately that is my goal...I want to make sure to be home in time to qualify for the tax credits, other wise I might be getting a job!

Adventures for today:
We went a good little jaunt to the airline office, and from there headed even further south to the Bookworm bookshop. A Wonderful little shop owned and operated by a French guy that spoke superb English. I sold him a couple books and bought a couple books (quite activity for when babies are sleeping.) I do hope to go back as he did say how he would like to see the babies. IT's a great place to stop if you are in Hanoi, his shop is very nice and for 50,000dong we got a very detailed map of the Old Quarter. We also stopped at the temple that is on Hoan Kiem Lake to see the red bridge and to go around the little island a bit. The temple was very pretty and has this huge preserved turtle inside it. The story goes something about a great warrior who defeated many invaders and drove them out of Vietnam, however a great turtle one day comes out of the lake and takes his sword to the depths of the lake (it is a VERY murkey lake) and the country enters into a very long period of peace. Hoan Kiem means restored sword, so it is the lake of the restore sword. The Vietnamese believe it is good luck to see a turtle therefor in the lake, and while we were exiting, one popped its head up, a good size looking one too! The people scrambled about to try to see it or take a picture. Must have been a luck day for them, but to me it was simply wonderful to see their excitement as from what I can tell it does not happen often.
Back to the hotel to try to change and arrange who is picking Brian up from the airport....let us know if any of you are interested!
Out for lunch, had wonderful spring rolls (mine fried, his fresh) at a place called Little Hanoi. VERY good. From there we started a little shopping spree. I bought Aoi Dai's for the girls (traditional Vietnamese outfit), smocked embroidered linen dresses for the babies (4 of them for around $24USD total!), Christmas gifts for my niece and nephews (can't tell as I know their mommy is a faithful reader!) and some balls to take to the orphanage for the children there to play with. We brought some of the small pre-packaged candy canes to take to the orphanage as well, hope that they are allowed to have them and that they like them.
It is funny, but they do celebrate "Christmas" here in a sense. There are decorations with Santa, and the store fronts are all done in red and green, with snowy looks to them...but not a single reference to the origins of Christmas anywhere. We do get a kick out of the decor though and I am going to add pics to the slide up top here in the morning. It is 3 AM now and I need to get back to sleep or I will get my sleeping all messed up again.
Jenn

Things are looking up!

2006-12-07T08:46:00.000-05:00

Well it isn't perfect news but I will take it. Tuesday the girls will be ours forever!
HOORAY! We are relieved as we were concerned if it was postponed too long that my flight out might be a little too close for comfort. Now, me doing the ceremony on my own will be interesting for sure. I imagine I will be an emotional wreck and plan on packing extra Kleenexes. Dad won't be here yet, but thankfully I have made some great friends while here and they are adopting their babies from the same province and they will have their ceremony at the same time. Hoping that either the Longs or the Pokos will have a free hand if I would need it and I will be packing my sling, it'll free up one arm at least to sign papers with!

Todays adventures:
We hung around the room this morning unpacking all the baby clothes and working out in our heads what all we wanted to try to bargain for in all of the streets surrounding us. For lunch we went just a few doors down the road to the "Green Tangerine" I loved the place. It is in an old building crammed between shops and is such a beatiful little spot. The food was wonderful and the presentation something you would expect at a fine restaurant with white linens and silver. I wish I had taken a picture of our meals and the inside of the place, good reason to go back. When you first walk in it is a somewhat open seating area, keep walking through to a very European looking courtyard with seating, and then on into another seating area. Skinny but deep, like many of the buildings here.
Also went to a nice little coffee/ice cream shop with the Longs and Pokos. We had Italian sodas that were very good. It was a nice little spot at the south side of the lake with huge windows you could look out and watch the motorbikes and cars fly by.
After that, we stopped at the supermarket. I wanted some Coca-Cola as it seems to keep my tummy settled and also I wanted to find some nail polish so I can paint one of the twins' toes to help tell them apart (one of the handful of things I had meant to pack and didn't) No luck though, hopefully I can find some before tuesday, somewhere!
Supper upstairs in the hotel, the staff is beginning to recognize us there. I really like where we are staying. Right on the edge of the shops, close to the lake, not far from 2 supermarkets, and very friendly staff....add the free breakfast and wireless internet and I am good to go!

Tired and going to bed soon, but hoping for more about the babies for you all. We hope to visit with them one more time before Brian flies home on Sunday.

Jenn

Still no news

2006-12-06T23:03:00.000-05:00

Please remember us as this is trying time for us. We still do not know for sure when we will have our G&R and we are not sure if Brian will get to see the babies again before he leaves. I want to be sure to tell you all that nothing is wrong with the adoption itself or the babies. Simply put the officials are not committing to a date so far as we can tell. We like it here, do not get us wrong, we simply wish things were moving along as planned. You spend all those days waiting and wishing away the time between now and travel. Now we are here, but it simply isn't going like we imagined over and over in our heads.
I am feeling better today, but am being careful to drink plenty of water and resting every so often. I am glad in a way that we don't have the babies yet as I want to get past this before they get here so I can totally focus on them. However I can't help but think having them here might help cure me.
I am hoping my next post bears good news for us, and want to be sure to re-itterate that we are fine, healthy, and liking Hanoi...we simply are ready to hold our girls forever.
Jenn

Discombobulated

2006-12-06T08:29:00.000-05:00

Is that a word?

That is how we feel, and we use that word often. After an elevator ride, especially up a level or two...discombobulated. You feel kind of like you are still on the flight over and a little out of sorts. This word also applies to the way we feel about our purpose here. We know we are supposed to be here to get our twins, but yet we still do not have them...discombobulated.

Today was an off sorts day (did I mention discombobulated?) We got up this morning, had another wonderful breakfast up at the top of our hotel. Headed down the street to the supermarket with a fellow adoptive family that had arrived the night before and then took off on our own. The idea was to see more of the city and try to get used to our surroundings. We ended up not lost, but not exactly sure where we are. The whole area we are in surrounds a beautiful lake (I'll post pictures if I can ever get pictures to post!) So no matter where we are, if we can find the lake we can figure out where we are. As we were walking, we kept thinking it was just around the corner, not so. However we were still headed in the general direction we wanted too. Finally we come to the lake and we had bypassed the majority of it.

A little about Hanoi:
Around the lake is an area called the Old Quarter. This older part of the city adjoins the French Quarter which is also partially along the lake. The lake is good sized, but not too large that you can't simply take a walk around it. The streets are NOT straight here, they wind and curve as they are old paths that have gotten larger over the years and now are large enough for at least one car in most places, though some are still only accessible by bike/motorbike. So as you are headed down a street, you change directions a fair amount. Street names change sometimes at each intersection. For instance the street our hotel is on to the one supermarket is a straight shot and about 4 citi blocks away, the name changes 3 times. Each street name represents a different trade and a majority of shops on that street will sell products under that heading. There are streets for hats, shoes, silk, bowls, statues, art, baby items, fish, coffins, you name it and there is a street for it. With all the name changes, turning and winding, and the sensory overload it is easy to get to wondering where you are!
A little more on the sensory overload. There are smells that you have never smelled, some good some not so good. There is SO much to see (the people, the stores, the homes above them, the traffic, signs, product, etc.) and there is quite a bit of noise as well. You take all that and try to accomplish a task in the middle of it and you simply get overloaded.
In our walk today I got overloaded and simply didn't eat lunch. We came back to the hotel to eat, but I was "over-cooked" as I call it and needed some down time. Add that to the lack of sleep last night (I woke at 4 AM and COULD not go back to sleep) and trying some local coffee (they make it with sweetend condensed milk, now thats a good idea if you don't have an empty stomache) and you get Jenn not feeling well. I thought going out for a walk would help and we went to buy diapers. Got out and about and to the supermarket, into the diaper isle and I didn't think I could keep going. It was very stuffy in there and something smelled so strong I could not stand it. Got the diapers and some more water (JUST in case we get babies on Friday) and started for the hotel. Brian asked a couple times if we should get a cab, I really was not doing well. On the way back we realized all the above (no sleep, no lunch, and STRONG coffee) and decided I hadn't taken good care of myself. A banana, glass of water, and hour long nap later and I was feeling top notch and ready to go.

Adventures for today (as if that wasn't all an adventure!):
Bought my first items from the stores along the street. As many on here know, I REALLY wanted something to hang over the crib. I was able to find lanters (once again, I will post pictures when able) and little handpainted wooden dragonflies. They will look so pretty hanging over the crib! Purple, green and of course pink in different shapes and sizes....can't wait to hang them up. It was fun to negotiate prices, though I am told I did not do well at it. I didn't care though as I knew exactly what I wanted and was able to talk them down a little bit to what equals $26 for ALL of it. I was hoping for $20-25, so needless to say I am pretty pleased with myself and have challenged my critic to do the next deal.
Next adventure, 2 meals out! Well, lunch didn't really count as it was not technically lunch. We stopped in at Highland Coffee (kind of like a Starbucks) It is beautiful, overlooks a busy intersection, and had big comfy couches. I figured I would try the Vietnamese coffee. It was wonderfully thick and rich, but VERY strong. Later I find out it is sometimes brewed with chickory and wonder if that didn't help my feeling cruddy along to almost feeling ill.
Tonight however after the banana and nap, we went out to eat lunch with a fellow adoptive family and had a wonderful time. The place we ate at was call Hoa Sua and it is a vocational training restaurant. The staff are all underpriveleged or street children who apply and enter this school. They learn life-skills, different languages, and then move on to either cooking or serving in culinary. Wonderful idea to help them gain some skills as there are plenty of places around here that would hire good help like that. We arrived and the young guy seating us smiled and started up the steps. Half way up the second flight, a gal interrupts our journey and they argue a bit. After that we go on with him another floor to this little balcony/open air room. It was beautiful and it was just us! There were other tables, but it was like we were given our own private dining room as the other tables were all empty! I really wish I had taken a couple pictures and might return to do so. The food was very much French influenced. The menu was extensive, the portions small, but satisfying, and everything tasted wonderful! We had a creamed potato soup, I had Pork with an apple sauce and rice, Brian had Shrimp Scampi, desert was a creme caramel custard, YUM!
Total for all four of us was about $35, all of us! I would really like to go back, but not sure I could find it on foot as it is back down a quiet allya ways away from our hotel. Worth paying a taxi to go to though and a HIGHLY reccomended stop for those traveling to Hanoi. What could be better, your helping young men and women finish their vocational training, supporting the schooling they took before hand, and getting a great meal with amazing atmosphere.

No more solid news on when we have our G&R, still hoping for Friday, though as the days wear on we are less confident of that. Wishing sooner rather than later as we already miss those two precious faces as much as we miss Olivia and Grace.

I will end by noting that tonight, on the way to dinner, I felt more at ease here. As we drove through town, I was able to notice more of the details...individual stores rather than the mass on a block...individual people rather than the group crowding the side walk. The layers of culture shock are starting to peel away and I felt for the first time that I am really starting to see the real Hanoi and perhaps glimpsing at a bit of the real Vietnam. More on our adventures tomorrow and also we are hoping to book a couple trips out and about the northern part of Vietnam so we will keep you updated!

Jenn

What a Day!

2006-12-05T07:19:00.000-05:00

Well, our first full day in Hanoi and what a day it has been. We spent the day unpacking (our luggage came late last night) and also getting the room organized how we like. We took a nap after that and had a quick lunch in the restaurant upstairs. Then we piled in the van with the other two families who are adopting in the same province as we are to go see the babies!
First stop was the Red Cross Orphanage for one of the families and their little one is SO adorable and a bit on the chunky side...anyone who knows me in person will remember how much I love chubby cheeks! The ride to our province was a bit long, though I certainly can't complain after the time we have spent in the air. It was interesting to see more of the country side and I was able to snap a few good pictures of the area of my children's birth.
Next stop was the Government orphanage and social center. We had to drive a fair bit to get to it and it was approaching dark when we got there. The director came out to let us know that the lights have been off all day so we would have to meet the babies on the patio. I knew this wouldn't be a long meeting as the Vietnamese do not like to let their babies be out in the cool or sun very long at all. It was so wonderful to hold the babies. To those who have seen our referral pics, yes they look like the picture and YES they are deffinately twins! They are so little, I was worried after our first stop that they might be as big and thought the clothes we brought might not fit...no worries now, they are so petite and their features look so delicate. I am sure that he 0-3 that we brought will fit them, and I brought a couple 3-6 just in case. Their nanny was sure to let us know that their names are both names of flowers that grow in Vietnam. I am hoping to ask when we go back if she is the one that named them. The girls are so beautiful and very well cared for. I was amazed at their movements and how they looked for their nanny. Those in adoption world know this is a good sign that they are attached, it is stated that a baby can much more easily transfer an attachment than they can form on when they never have before.
Now the bad news. It seems that there are some meetings that are tying up officials and they are wanting to change our G&R again to next week. I am heartbroken over it and it was all I could do to hand them back tonight. I was handed Aubrey and Brian was handed Chloe and the families with us helped by taking lots of pics and some video. They had woken them for us to visit with them so they weren't too sure what was going on at first, but it wasn't long and they were cooing at us and Chloe even ended up with the hiccups which she found funny. Chloe is the talker and Aubrey is a cuddle-bug, though our visit was short so we'll see when we are able to spend more time with them.
I want so badly to post pictures, but without our G&R being a firm thing now I am going to play it safe and wait until everything settles. I know this will disappoint some of you, but it is what our agency reccomends...no public posting of photos until the G&R. Now it seems that there is a chance for Friday and after that it won't be until Wednesday. I am really praying for Friday as Brian leaves on Sunday night...I hate for him to not be there for the G&R and their first night with us. I simply can't imagine it without him! After saying that I want to tell you all how much I wish you could see them and how much I wish I could share right now. They are simply perfect and sweet.
Here are some pictures of where they are from though to tide you over and hopefully we will have that G&R soon and I'll be able to post pictures soon.

Jenn
PS blogger won't let me post pics right now, I'll try again later

Waking up to a new world

2006-12-04T20:11:00.000-05:00

Hanoi is a bit on the noisy side. At first I thought I was late to wake up to go somewhere with my mom...she is the only one I usually hear honking outside my door. Well, silly me, I am in Hanoi! They have traffic that is so funny. Lines and signs but no on pays much attention unless there is a traffic signal and even then it seems negotiable. Very funny! To keep order though there is this "language" of honking. Not the mad, get out of my way, what are you thinking honking we do at home, but a "pardon me" type of honking and all day the horns go on. It isn't near as annoying as it sounds.

Our hotel is nice. Nice linens on the beds, beautiful bathroom, no view but light from a HUGE glass block window. We like it here. Plus they do a huge buffet breakfast (Asian and Western) and our internet is included...wireless.

Today is the day we go to see the babies, it's 8AM now and we are hoping to leave after lunch time. I can not wait to finally hold them and I will be sure to take and post some pictures. I have taken some photos, but won't post them now as my connection is somewhat slow...keep your eyes peeled for additions though!

More Later
Jenn

We have arrived!

2006-12-04T02:27:00.000-05:00

This is a post written in sections according to our travel…I decided to spend a bit of time (think 15 hours in a sardine can with nothing else to do!) writing ahead of time as I know when we arrive in Hanoi I will be tired and ready to sleep.

Flight to LAX
This was a DREAM flight! Just you standard 3 and 3 across airplane…probably 40 rows (?) there were only 30-35 people on board! We could all simply pick a row and have 3 seats to ourselves to spread out. That is about where the dream ends though. Typical service in the order of a small glass of beverage and some cheese and crackers. Most of you know I am not a picky eater…but the “refreshments” weren’t very refreshing…and we will just leave it at that. I really shouldn’t complain though as we did leave on time, arrived a bit early and it was a smooth flight.

Flight to Hong Kong:
We are still on this flight as I write. We are flying Cathay Pacific in economy class. I SO badly had wanted to fly EVA’s Evergreen Deluxe ( a step between economy/coach and business class) but there were not many flights available, severely limiting our options should we need to change our flights. It isn’t any bigger leg-room and seat wise than a standard airplane. My legs get very sore at times as there is no place to put them without them bumping into something. Many of you may not know me in person, I am 6 ft tall and still carrying a bit of Olivia and Grace in my “seat” (she says with an embarrassed flush) The seats are comfy though small, and service is TOP notch! As soon as we were in the air (we left about 45 min late as they held the plane for a few passengers trying to make the connecting) we were served a MEAL, a REAL meal. Brian had Beef Merlot with Mashed Potatoes and Veggies, I had Sweet and Sour Pork with Rice. All meals are served with beverage, shrimp and baby green salad with vinaigrette, and warm rolls. Yum! Can’t wait for breakfast and still not sure if I’ll do the standard eggs or try the Congee. Every hour or so they go up and down the isles with trays of water in case you need a quick drink, and around 4 or 5 hours after they cleaned up supper (no CLUE what time it is, not even going to try to figure it out as I think we pass a time zone every hour or so??) they came by with snacks (choice of cold cut sandwich or noodles and shrimp...think Ramen Noodles) and beverages again.

Brian seems to be doing as ok as Brian can with major changes coming in our life and with being out of his own house with his own bed and bathroom and all. Many of you out there that are married know exactly what I am saying. I am doing fine for the most part.
Sleeping is hard for me. I had a minor clausterophic-sleep induced melt down, very minor…just was really tired after supper and needed to sleep. I woke after about 4 hours with an upset stomach. I am thinking it was the sleeping pills I took, could be motion as there is a bit of turbulence every once in a while, though I rarely get motion sick. Getting up and stretching and the afore mention snack helped that, though I was still groggy from the sleeping pills. Not sure I’ll take them again. I wish I had asked the dr for a few good ones as I have a feeling these OTC ones just groggy you and not help you sleep!

We have little TV’s on the back of the seat in front of us and can choose from an array of different movies and entertainment…watched the 2nd Pirate of the Caribbean with supper. I’ve already finished off my Beverly Lewis book, my other gal that I can’t ever remember her name (Wanda Brunstetter??) and am on to one I picked up in the airport. Should have it finished before I arrive in Hanoi which is good as I doubt to have much free reading time after that…especially after Wed when we get the girls.

Did I mention that our Giving and Receiving Ceremony is on Wednesday December 6th. It was supposed to be on the 5th but got moved a day shortly before we left. I hope we are in good enough shape when we get there that we can see some sights before then, that way the days before Brian leaves can be spent on the babies and he will still have been able to see some of their country.

Well, we are over the eastern parts of Russia right now for all I can tell on the map (my Asian geography knowledge is sadly not as good as it should be!) We have about 5 and half hours to go before landing in Hong Kong and only about 45 min between that and our next flight…hope we make it! Hope our luggage makes it!

*********************************************

We are here, in Hanoi that is and it is SO wierd feeling...it is the jet-lag? It is very interesting here and not quite what I expected. People are very friendly, the hotel is nice, the traffic is something that you simply can't learn, you just have to experience it!

Our luggage did not make it...we knew this was a possibility though, so we were prepared. By prepared, I mean mentally, we are leaving to go to a store here soon so we can get prepared physically. We SHOULD have our luggage tomorrow...should. The last part of the LA to Hong Kong flight was hard and long. Nothing wrong with the flight, but I had simply had enough. My legws wanted to stretch out, my feet were swollen, and I hadn't slept much. Not saying I had a fit or break down or anything, but I simply was not enjoying myself. Going home at least I will have the babies to care for, that will help pass the time as well as the bulkhead seats so I"ll have leg room...something to look forward to.

The congee was good, think a rice porridge with mushrooms, seafood, and ginger in it. Then we were served another good meal on our Vietnam flight. We were lucky to make that flight. We had only 40 minutes to go out of the terminal and back through security after our Hong Kong flight. We made it just in time and even were able to use the bathroom, but I don't like things being that close.

I am really tired, so I am not going to write more except that I found out today the G&R might not be until the 7th now, frustrating. BUT I did also find out that tomorrow we will go visit the babies...I am so very excited to finally hold them. Must go and buy some water and then get some supper with a fellow adopting family before crashing in our beautifully made bed.

More later when my brain is functioning better.
Jenn

Today is the day

2006-12-02T11:23:00.000-05:00

Well today is the day, the suitcases have been weighed, the laptop is packed, the girls are not even noticing we aren't with them in Florida, the dog is just about to get a bath (shhhh, don't tell her) and we will go take her to my best friend's mom and dad who are SO wonderful to be taking care of her.

I really don't know what to post today? I'm leaving for Vietnam, its kind of like leaving for the hospital for birth, but it's a LONG trip. We leave Ohio at 6 tonight and arrive in Hanoi on their Monday morning at 10 (for Ohio that would be 10PM on Sunday) For all you Ohioans and East coasters, Hanoi is 12 hours ahaed of us, so as I am posting it is 11:30 AM here on Saturday (I really should be bathing the poor dog, not this, but oh well!) so in Hanoi it would be 11:30 PM on Saturday night...get it?

Thankfullness post for the day:
Plain and simple to all of those who have helped us in our process. I get all teary thinking about the people online that have had so many tips for us and support through the process, then there are doctors and lawyers who have helped along the way, family, friends, people that ask how we are and then people that are praying for us. MaryAnn, Deb, and Sherolyn.....thank you for the calls the past day! I can not tell you how much it means to hear someone say "We love you guys and we will be praying for you!"

It's going to be a long flight and I still have lots to do. I am not sure I am going to be able to post between now and Hanoi, so don't be surprised if you do not hear from me until Monday morning!

Talk to you all later, I gotta go get my baby girls!
Jenn

1 more night

2006-12-01T20:50:00.000-05:00

One more night in the US.

My children are somewhere between here and Disney.

I am not ready....yet.

Just a little more to do and I'll post more on tomorrow, the day we leave for our twins.

Jenn

2 Funny

2006-11-30T09:49:00.000-05:00

Ok, I am running out of post titles with numbers in it...so sorry you have to put up with it!

I do have a funny though. I just overheard Olivia, our oldest (5), talking to the three legged ShihTzu, Emmy:

Emmy, now listed good. You have to stay up late the night of Christmas and watch for Santa, I'm not allowed up so later. Here's what you have to do. He has a white beard, it's longer, and red clothes and presents. Make sure you give him a letter saying what toys we want. Just give it to him and see if he needs a cookie or something (at the word cookie, the dog finally looks like she is paying attention) See, Emmy, that won't be hard now, will it good doggie!

I can just see our little dog under the tree at attention with a letter rolled up like a scroll in her little mouth. Too Funny!

Thankfullness Post:
Today I am oh so thankful for the children God has entrusted me with! All FOUR of them. As frustrated as I can get with them at times, Olivia and Grace are my girls and I love them SO much. They say and do the darndest things, it's great watching them grow into little ladies. I am SO anxious to meet my next two girls...funny how you can feel so much like you know someone without having even met them!

Well, you'll get a post from me tomorrow and the following day will be my good-bye USA post. I still shake my head at the calm I feel, it might catch up with me soon, we'll see. I do plan on blogging while gone though I warn you that the babies come first....I can't imagine not posting though as I want family, especially the girls, to be able to see pics and this seems to be one of the easiest ways.

Jenn

3's company

2006-11-29T21:16:00.000-05:00

Anyone remember that show, fun theme song! Sorry, really off topic. Well the lists have been conquered with gusto. Today was productive. I have to finish all paperwork tonight or I might bust! Tomorrow night can be reserved for final packing and then from there all we have left to do is go kill some time at a movie theatre and hold hands across the dinner table. The girls leave early afternoon tomorrow so we will have all night tomorrow just us and I know Brian is wanting to go see the latest Bond movie...I would like to see it too. It sure would be nice to get out one last time just us, as I remember how it was with little ones, no movie nights outside of the house!

Thankfullness post for today:
My wonderful husband. Probably have mentioned him before, but honestly, He is the best and deserves more than a mention! He is my soul mate, my best friends, my support when I weak, and the other half of me. He is father to my children, providor of our needs, and a wonderful role model and help mate. How many men do you know of that aren't afraid to do dishes or laundry, enjoy spending time with their children, work a steady job, and still have time for their wife's to do list, etc and so forth and so on. I am forever greatful for our relationship and for how wonderful he has been to me. I probably don't tell him enough, so I hope he reads this. I love him dearly and wish every woman had a man as wonderful as he is.

4 days left

2006-11-29T13:44:00.000-05:00

(This is tuesday's post post that I was going to have my back-up ghost blogger good friend post for me, but I haven't heard from her...hoping she is not ill. So, here it is from yesterday a few hours late.)

This evening marks 4 days left in the US. You'd think I would be nervous or something, but I was very lucky to spend a very re-juvenating day with a good friend today. I am hoping she is reading this, though I know she is thinking "re-juvenating...my house?" It was though, I feel refreshed and ready to face the rest of the week. I needed it! PLUS, wait until I post Christmas pictures of the babies in their new little outfits! Red (my favorite color) with Scottie dogs (which I simply adore) and with a cute butt ruffle and bow!!! Perfect for Christmas Day! I can't wait to put some of these clothes of two little wiggly bodies.

thankfulness post:
Today I am thankful for quiet times: a drive in the car, waking before the household, times of prayer, reading a good book, staying up late, anytime that the noise level is down to just my thoughts! I find these times so relaxing and refreshing and I hope that while in Vietnam I am able to find a few quiet moments to keep me going strong. Some of you are laughing as Hanoi is the capital city and is not very quiet from what I hear.

Did I ever tell you all that we will be in Hanoi the entire time? Not sure if I did or not. We would like to take a day trip to Ha Long Bay (I'll try to attach a picture) or maybe to some of the minority villages or even the mountains (this would be an overnight trip). I really want to see my daughters' country, but I also am anxious to come home early. The reality of leaving Olivia and Grace is settling in and it isn't friendly. It will be 3 weeks that I will not see my girls and I am not liking this at all. However it works out I will survive, perhaps a compromise in the middle (a little sight seeing, and traveling home early would be good!)

Jenn who is behind on her lists..the to-do list, the packing list and the "DON'T FORGET THIS" list

5 days

2006-11-27T16:05:00.000-05:00

Just 5 short days and we leave, can this be real? I am waiting for the panic to set in, but as of yet we are smooth sailing. Just finalizing things on this end and trying to get ready to go.

Jenn

a week of lasts

2006-11-26T21:51:00.000-05:00

Well this is my last week as a mother of 2 girls. In one short week that will be doubling. It's amazing how you go through a spell of calm and then the nerves creep up on you. My focus right now is on Olivia and Grace and my house. Trying to balance extra luvin's on them and get the house ready for two more. We have a rather small home, but had to finance the last drop out of it for this adoption, so we will be stuck here awhile. I love our neighborhood and our lot is really deep and in a quiet part of town. I am really hoping to move out into the country when we are able to move, hoping and praying. I have to chuckle as when we bought our house it was only 600 sq.ft., yep, six hundred (I didn't forget a number in there anywhere.) Olivia came very shortly after that and then our bonus-baby, Grace, appeared a year after that. It took about 1 year of 4 people in 600 sq ft to figure we needed to add on. Brian worked at an Engineering firm at the time and his boss along with some wonderful friends from church helped us build on. The only part we hired out was the foundation, the rest was done by us non-professionals. Our house is now a little under 1400 sq ft, not a bad size, but it we will be pushing it to its limits I am afraid. If only I could talk him into removing the wall between the entry and the office, THAT would help, but it is a support wall or something?

Many have asked, and YES, I plan on posting from Vietnam. Why do I think I will, it's going to be my link to my kids in some ways, and I have a room with in-room internet access and a sister who is letting me bring her laptop all the way around the globe. I also have a friend at home ready and willing to help update the blog if for some reason it is blocked or not accessible. I am hoping to also put pictures and video if I can figure it all out. I really want to share what I can with you all.

Thankfullness post for the day:
I am so very thankful for our church. This was my last service for most likely this year, though I am hoping to make it home early and go to the morning service on New Years Eve. It is so nice to have a congregation that you've been a part of for as long as we have. To have friends and family that attend there. To have preachers who aren't afraid the preach the Word of God. To feel like I have a second home with the people we attend with. I really am hoping they all have a wonderful Christmas season.

Jenn who leaves in 6 more days, that's right just 6 more days!

one more week

2006-11-25T10:14:00.000-05:00

Today I am thankful for time.

Thankful that I still have seven days left to get ready (as it is going to take a chunk of that) and thankful that there are only 7 days left ( I really am wanting to go and see my babies!)

7 is a nice spot to be in!

Jenn

Day after Thanksgiving

2006-11-24T14:14:00.000-05:00

I am chuckling at myself as for lunch today I had a turkey sandwich! I read my last blog and people probably think I am anit-turkey...but really I am not. Just the traditional roasted turkey served for holidays, the rest I tend to like. My sandwich today was on home-made bread and had cranberry relish and cream cheese on it. A very good friend of mine has said on more than one occasion that if you were to cut open a woman you would find that we are half cream cheese. It always cracks me up as what is the best kind of frosting...cream cheese. The best kind of dips have what in them....cream cheese. Best way to fix a bagel...cream cheese. Perfect filling for a baked french toast....cream cheese. I admit I agree. The sandwich was very good by the way.

Olivia is making out her Santa letter right now, I'll have to take a picture and post it. She has never thought to do this before, but now all of a sudden it is imperative to get this done! I have to chuckle as she is including some things for her sister as she can't write yet....wait till you see it :) I just hope we are able to get one of the things on her list...we hadn't planned on it, but might have to as she is only asking for two things, it's hard not to get at least one of those.

My thankfullness post for today:
I am so thankful for music. When I was in highschool I was in band, stage band/jazz, choir, musicals, state bands, etc and LOVED it. TO THIS DAY I still love music. I don't play the trombone anymore, sold it in hard times awhile back, but I love to sing and I have my favorites. There are two popular ones for this day as this is the day we decorate for Christmas. I currently have in Harry Conick Jr.'s Christmas CD which I LOVE and should buy another one of for in the car. We also tend to play A Verry Veggie Christmas quite a bit. The girls love it, especially with Jr. singing "While by my sheep" with the sheep in the background.
Music is so funny how it effects our emotions, can bring back a distant memory or sentiment. I am looking forward to singing lullaby's again!

Jenn

Single Digits!!!!

2006-11-23T09:54:00.000-05:00

Wow, we are into single digits, 9 days until our plane leaves, I'm feeling fluttery in my tummy.

I did do a little packing yesterday and have given up on taking two small suitcases. It was completely stressing me out trying to get it all in and I have officially given up. We have two smaller ones that we would take as a carry-on on domestic flights and then slightly larger one. It is my hope that I discover I have too much stuff and am able to send the two smaller ones home with Brian when he returns and keep the larger one for myself and the babies.....not sure on that though. We'll just have to wait and see.

We get to see TONS of family today, including TWO Thanksgiving meals...and I confess, I do not like turkey. I'll eat a turkey sandwich, you know the lunch meat that is soaked in sodium solutions so that it is nice and juicy, but I am the type that eats a steak med-med/rare and the thought of dried up striny turkey is not appealing. I will eat a piece of dark meat for the festivities and then move on to all the GLORIOUSE cranberry relish, sweet potatoes, corn, grean beans, cranberry relish, rolls, pies, salads, did I mention the cranberry relish??? AND at my mom and dad's we always have prime rib, Mmmmmm.... They own a restaurant and for as many years as I can remember one of the local factories hires them to cook Thanksgiving dinner for the ENTIRE plant. We are talking 8 of the biggest birds you can buy. We all pitch in and by the end of the day on tuesday you are so sick of picking turkey and all it's amazing. So she saves a small pan of it and we all oogle over the roast thawing in the cooler. YUM! Anyone else have something besides turkey?

Perhaps the best part of Thanksgiving is the afore mentioned family. Brian's brother and his family will be in town, though the other two won't make it this year. The cousins love getting together to play and it is always nice to catch up on what's going on in everyones lives. At my parent's there will be my sisters, my dad's mom, his two sisters and their families (including little baby cousin who is about the same size as our Chloe and Aubrey) and you never know who might pop in....some of the long-time employees of the restaurant, some of my moms family including her parents, and even sometimes a few loyal customers. We have so much fun. We do our meal at the restaurant where there is a nice BIG kitchen and we decorate for Christmas while we are at it. I will try to remember to take my camera and post some pics. We all work at decorating while mom and my sister cook (I kind of float, I like to do both!) It is an unusual tradition, but it is all ours and we keep coming back every year.

My Thankfulness Post for today:
Today I am thankful for family. There are many types of family starting with my own little unit...husband and four daughters. Simply put they are everything to me and I don't know that words can express any more than that. Then there is the family I will see today, our extended family. There is our church family for which I am thankful and friends. We have so many friends and there are a few that I count just as dear as family to me. There is my on-line family, that is you, the ones who read this and celebrate when I celebrate and encourage when I am down. Though I may never meet many of you, know that I am thankfull for you!
Family is something I can not imagine life without, my life is full of family and I really wish the words were coming better to me, but it is mainly feeling...love, adoration, respect, sentiment, joy, and simple awe.

Jenn, who will not be eating more than one bite of turkey today.

10 days and counting

2006-11-22T08:38:00.000-05:00

Looking ahead, how wonderful to start the single digits on Thanksgiving. Made me smile at least.
My mom and I took the kids to a movie last night and finished up a bit of shopping, her not me, that is any shopping I have left I plan on doing in Vietnam. I can't try to do it all here, it simply won't work. It was nice, though the movie was a big disappointment. One of those flicks where the best parts of the movie are shown in the previews...the restof it was a story line that seemed to have a half heart attempt to it with a side of agenda thrown in. Can you tell I was bummed. We did however have a wonderful time together and I ended up getting my mom to eat at one of my favorite Japanese restaurants. Now I am not talking the usual in the mall Japanese food....we are talking authentic menu. More shushi than anything else, with a nice selection of teriakki dishes, udon noodle soups, and tempura. MMmmmmm....it was very good and got me in the mood for more Asian food. I have had tried Vietnamese food once and really liked it, I also know of a couple recommended Japanese Restaurants in Hanoi. Watch me gain weight on this trip.
Thankfullness post for the day:
Today I am thankful for my senses, as in touch, taste, sight, sound, and smell. Think what life would be like without feeling the velvety softness of a rose and then sniffing it's beautiful scent. The snow I talked about the other day and even more exciting your child's first steps. How about the first little laugh you baby giggles, or the sound of "mama" in your ear. The smoothness of good chocolate, and spicyness of pumpkin pie, and the fresh taste of a crisp apple. My favorite though is snuggling a warm soft baby who is breathing softly while dozing off. Watching those little eyelashes drop and smell that sweet little baby smell!!! Does life get any better?

Jenn who will be smelling TWO sweet little babies in a couple more than 10 days!

Another Day Done

2006-11-21T10:01:00.000-05:00

11 days left and I am cool as a cucumber. I am resting in peace through the process now and taking my time. I have put off packing until next week as everytime I start I end up changing things and have become too stressed over it. Sometimes you just need to set things aside in order to start afresh. Our snow is all melted, but now it is freezing cold! It has me thinking about how the twins will adjust to the weather. Their weather right now is about 65 at night and pushing 80 during the day, though by the end of December the weather will top off at a high of 72ish and lows down in the 50's...what a change for them!!! Right now I would be happy to see a high UP in the 50's. I did by some good bunting that attaches to the car seats to help keep them warm through the winter and to help keep the wind off of them. I bought the lighter weight knowing I can throw a blanket in there under it for ver cold days and then on cooler days they won't over-heat. I look at the car seats sometimes and get a bit sentimental. The one we are borrowing from a good friend, but the other we used for Olivia and Grace. I can still picture in my head the day we brought them home, and other moments. One in particular I remember is being gone all day and coming home to find our first tulip of the year blooming. Olivia was 1 and of course had to inspect. Being as we didn't go inside first, Gracie was still in the car seat and laughing at the big red flower her sister kept waving about. I can't wait for memories like this again!!!! Don't get me wrong, the older girls still provide me weekly with great memories, but memories change with ages and stages.

My thankfulness post for the day:
Today I am thankful for my older two children! Olivia and Grace have taught me so much! They have helped me grow into the roll of a parent, and yet they have helped me to be a kid again! I love them will all of my heart, and then some. I know that they will be wonderful big sisters and it is such a joy to see them growing into that roll already. It also tickles me to watch them as they are now more than just sisters, but they are becoming good friends. They stick up for each other in play-groups and always ask for "one more (sucker at the bank, sticker at the library, etc.) for my sister" when they are not together. They are 2 of God's most precious gifts to me and I am so thankfull and honored to be their mommy!

Jenn who is still feeling the calm effect of the snow that was so pretty, but is already gone.

12 Days and Counting

2006-11-20T01:14:00.000-05:00

Ok, it is BARELY Monday, but I am having a miserable case of insomnia so here I am. Tomorrow is looking to be busy so I decided why not post my thankful thought for the day before I even start it. What do I discover while being up and about in the wee little hours of the morning? The first snow to stick for the year!

Today I am thankful for snow that clings to the branches and buildings. I love to see it coming down so peacefully in the night with no cars plowing through it. Our street looks like it is asleep (I suppose everyone is asleep but me) and sparkly! My girls will wake up in the morning so excited asking if it is Christmas! If the insomnia continues I may just decorate the tree we pulled down out of the attic the other day to make room for storing baby clothes in (the attic, not the tree), then they really will think it is Christmas! What is it about a first snow that is so appealing? So clean and white, sparkly and new...it's like a fresh start to a new season or something.

Feel free to join in on my thankfullness bit. It is easy to leave a comment or even better, post it on your own blog. Pass it around as this week is Thanksgiving and then we move full speed into the Christmas season...add on to that a trip to Vietnam to pick up your waiting children and it simply doesn't get better than this. What are you thankfull for?

Jenn (who so enjoys the cleansing, sparkly cover of white that is washing over her little world!)

Countdown

2006-11-19T14:37:00.000-05:00

I feel like the countdown is on as we are less than two weeks from leaving! I am so excited!

In 13 days we will be traveling to the airport to board a plane to pick up the other part of our family! How mush mo re exciting does it get? Well, there is Thanksgiving in there and for us that means 3 meals this year, yikes! Then there is the fact that Olivia and Grace will be leaving the day before us, so we will have a mommy and daddy night all to ourselves before we embark on this journey. Before any of you get any ideas, that evening will be spent wrapping gifts for not only Christmas but also for their birthdays as we have two girls that are at the age that birthday parties are the "thing" to look forward to and just so happen to follow one after the other after Christmas. Not to mention last minute cleaning and packing!

Anyhow this is it, my coutndown begins and I hope to post every day with something I am thankful for. 13 is a small number in comparisson with all that I am thankful for, but I hate to just simply have a ticker going, this is so much more monumental to me than that!

So in 13 days we leave to get our girls and today I am thankful for our small town. Though small town can be annoying and frustrating (like when you need passport photos on a Sunday) it is home. Our parents call it home, as well as other family, and our church is here, which includes even more family! I am so thankful for where we are in this great country of ours!

Jenn who will be waiting ever so patiently for only 13 more days!

Hubby Post ?3?

2006-11-18T00:39:00.000-05:00

I think this is my third post on here, but I could be wrong. I figured I should post on here because it's been a while and because I had the feeling I should. But I'm not quite sure what to say. We'll, I guess I'll just tell where I'm at in the process.

We leave in about 2 weeks. I'm not sure if I'm in denial, shock, guarding my emotions, have tunnel vision, or what, but it really hasn't hit home to me what is about to happen. I think I'm trying to prepare myself, but I doubt I'll really know how prepared I am emotionally and mentally until the day to leave arrives. A pain about being a man, at least for me, is that my emotions have a way of sneaking up on me and betraying me. Examples:

My mother was honored as "Mother of the Year" at our church a few years ago on Mother's Day. To celebrate it, the pastor asked each of us boys (3 out of the 4 were home at the time) to say a few words about our mom during the service. I had, I think, 2 memories I wanted to share. I had no real emotion preparing my remarks. But sure enough, as I started to speak into that microphone, I started to ball. I had no idea where the emotion came from, but it was sudden, heavy, and real.

Same thing when Olivia was born. I handled it all pretty well, level-headed, steady and supportive husband, trying to do the best I can. But when we got home, WHAM! I was an emotional mess for about a week. I'm hoping beyond hope and praying that I'm prepared for this. We'll see :) A NEW NORMAL. We all have to get used to a new normal.

Back to my original point: It feels very surreal. And I'm not really sure what to make of it. As I step back, and review all the events that have happened to bring us to this point, I find myself remarking to...myself, that I never asked for any of this to happen. Don't misunderstand me; I'm not bemoaning or regretting what's happening. I'm excited and can't wait for life to begin anew. But, it wasn't my idea to look into adoption, into expanding our family, into the airlines, the agencies, the hotels, the passport photos, the forms, the loans, paper certifications, passport photos, re-certifying papers, letters of employment, birth certificates, and on and on and ending up with having to get more passport photos. And babies, I didn't ask for babies. I thought we were going to toddlers and had put 1-5 years of age on our homestudy application. But, we get the completed homestudy back and it says 0-5 years old! My wife said I agreed to that. Darn my short-term memory! And 2 girls; I didn't ask for 2 girls. Deep down, I hoped for a boy and a girl. And twin girls to boot! And the agency we have now wasn't even the one we picked and started with. Not to mention how we thought it would be deep into '07 before we even had a referral. Nothing is how I expected it to be. It's just been amazing how things have happened.

But, in the beginning, I realized this was way over my head. And I knew maybe I was being overly cautious about it. So, I gave it all to God. I have a mental picture of me holding the whole adoption process in my hands, and lifting it up and handing it over to Him. I knew my wife wanted to adopt, but I wasn't so sure, so I gave it all over to Him. He knows what's best for my family, way better than I do. And I have trusted in Him this whole process, believing that if adoption was not right for us, it would be stopped somehow. But, if it was part of His will for us, I asked that He would bless the process. I asked that He would guide us to the right children, boys or girls or both. And if adoption was right for us, I prayed and am still praying, for Him to bless the children we would be adopting.

This has been my heart and my prayer for however many months it's been since we started the process. And oh, my goodness, what a ride it's been! Looking back, I have to believe that God has definitely been involved. It's ironic, but I got a new job about 6 months ago. My company pretty much eliminated my position/couldn't afford to keep me. I didn't ask to change jobs, or deal with the stress of finding a new one. But it's been the best thing that's ever happened to me. I didn't have to move, it's a more secure job, better benefits, better pay, a company vehicle, plenty of room for promotion, and oh, yeah, an adoption benefit. And it only took a month to get it. But, I turned that whole process over to God, too, and told Him I'd go wherever He sent me. And where I'm at is the last place I expected. Go figure. So, if I trusted in God then, how could I do anything but trust in Him now? Especially now with the most important step of the process (going to Vietnam) about to happen. I'm giving it all over to Him and trusting in Him.

Yep, I can take no credit for how amazing our adoption process has been. All credit goes to my wife and my God. My wife has put hours upon hours of research, paperwork, stress, etc., and I know none of this would be happening if it wasn't for her love and determination. I am truly blessed.

Wow!

2006-11-17T17:07:00.000-05:00

My girls are sleeping now, the younger two that is....on the other side of the world. They have no idea how much their mommy and daddy are wanting to go to them. They have no idea what will transpire in the next few weeks. They are simply existing in what they have known for much of their lives. Waking, eating, being tended to, sleeping again....does anyone try to get a smile out of them? Will they be used to interacting with those that adore them.

Meanwhile we re-do papers, rush to decorate for Christmas, stuff the freezer full of meals, wrap presents, prepare for the two birthdays following Christmas. It's the general holiday dash of things to do for us, but with the underlying desire to simply transport to the other side of our beautiful Earth. It's surreal at times, emotional at others....so hard to put words to. Our lives are in a different sort of space than those around us, it's odd. Everyday activities are now thought of as "how will this be when we get home" and the annual holiday season has become a think I am thankful for if only to help pass time, let alone the significance of it all.
We are so thankful, and so blessed...Thanksgiving and Christmas this year mean extra to us.

Our babies will be waking for breakfast before long....

Jenn

Preparing to go

2006-11-15T10:55:00.000-05:00

Ok, we have our hotel, there are at least 3 other families traveling with us, our tickets are in my carry-on already.

Ahhhh, now to pack. The packing thing is going to be a headache for sure. Am I taking enough, am I taking too much, what am I forgetting, can I buy it over there? I am hoping to get it down to two backpacks, the lap top and 2 smaller suitcases. We'll see, I'm not going to hold my breath. I have forgotten how much STUFF comes with babies, multiply that by two and it gets pretty bad. I really don't want to be carting a ton of stuff back and forth and am not afraid of doing laundry in the sink at the hotel, though I hear you can get a load of wash done over there pretty cheap. I'll do what it takes and I simply need to quit worrying about it!

I have FINALLY figured out where the girls are going to be while I am gone and Brian is at work. Made up the calendar last night and also put on there who was walking the dog which day. We are so very lucky to have family in the same town as us, as well as long-time friends who are willing to help. The wonderful people that are taking care of my pampered pooch while Brian and I both are gone (my maid of honors parents) will also be helping make sure she gets walked while Brian is at work. Our mother's are each taking a couple days and are even taking them overnight on night so that the girls don't have to be carted around so much the next day. They also will be going out of town to spend the night with their cousins for 2 nights!! They are very excited about this, it'll be a first for them. Add too that two fellow homeschooling moms from church are taking a day as well. 2 weeks doesn't seem long, until you try to arrange for care of your children!

I had another friend give me a bunch of baby clothes. I hope she realizes how much it helps us. All in all, we have PLENTY of 3-6, 6-9 clothes, and a decent start on 18mo. For some reason there wasn't much in the 12 mo size, but that is ok, I know what to tell people now when they ask what we need (for some reason most people don't find it exciting to buy diapers and formula? go figure!)

Some have been asking how to pray for us:
That the twins are being well cared for and that their transition to a family will not be too shocking for them
That we have safe travels and are avoid illness while gone.
That we return as planned or earlier, though no later than 11PM the 31st as we HAVE to touch US soil before the new year or one of us will be getting a job to help cover expenses not re-imbursed.
For Olivia and Grace while we are gone that they have safe travels and enjoy the time with their grandparents.
For my husband and the girls that they will be well taken care of while I am gone.
For us to all grow closer to God through this whole experience!

That is all for now, hopefully the next time I post it will be to let you know packing was a sucess and we simply need to count the days. Thanksgiving will help the time pass as we leave a week after that.

Jenn

Reality

2006-11-12T22:30:00.000-05:00

Another baby gift, beautiful handmade sweaters by my friend and fellow stamper Sharon, THANK YOU, they are beautiful! So soft and I am sure they will get lots of use.

I got an early Christmas gift today as well. I am extremely pleased my mom thought to give it to us (it is for hubby and I both) early as it is a nice set of luggage. Red, my favorite color, and with wheels that turn around. Think office chairs, you can go wherever you want...any direction. That is what my suitcases do! You can bet I have plans for them. So I had to figure out how to start packing without taking over my already taken over house. One thing about me, I can organize info, get rid of files I don't need, etc. but when it comes to my house I am terrible! I had a friend come over not too far back and help me organize my kitchen cupboards and countertops and I am proud to say that it still looks good and I can find what I need. So, I decided to attack the laundry room today and I won! It isn't done, but there is enough room for the dog crate (needed to move it so I had a spot for the swing) and the countertops are cleared off enough so that I can lay out our three suitcases. Time to start packing...anyone visited Vietnam in December before?

So why do I post this reality? I few realities hit today.
#1 I don't have to have a cluttered home. It just takes me getting really determined to get something accomplished. The best part of htis is I am figuring out what makes me really determined.
#2 I am entering what I hope is my last week of working outside of the home. I waitress at my parent's restaurant, and really don't mind it, but find myself needing to be here to do school and de-clutter! With the babies on the way, I had to call it quits. It is hard to quit as I grew up there and it is a part of my life, but I am thinking here in 3 weeks or so it won't be so bad being away for a good while. I know I'll be in and out of there though as there are times when mom needs someone and my husband is brave enough to take care of all of his children...though I bet it doesn't happen often
and perhaps the most profound reality to hit me today:
#3 I am going to be a baby mommy again! It has been working its way to the surface, and today it hit. At church, our pastor called forward two of my friends at church that are expecting and then me. It didn't hit me until about then, I am an expecting mom! I have been assigned the task of two brand new little lives to help shape and guide. Two little hearts that will need cared for and loved. Hair to put bows in, boo-boos to kiss, first steps to witness, and birthday cakes to make. Bedtime prayers and snuggles on cool nights, stray socks found in the oddest places, fevers and snotty noses. First teeth and little kisses, baby soaps and lotions, black patent leather shoes that fit in my palm of my hand and short little tights with lacy rows on the behind. Trips to the doctor and first swimming lessons, kissing their babies and reading favorite stories. All of these things I look forward to, some more and some less, but most of all the love of a child who calls me mommy. That does not even begin to put words to it!!!
Pretty profound in my heart and certainly not the whole of it, though I am sure some of you are thinking it is a good thing I figured it out now.

Signed, organazionally challenged stay at home mother of four princesses

Not much new

2006-11-10T22:43:00.000-05:00

I am trying to keep up with posting every couple days. We recieved our airline tickets today and booked a hotel. It looks fairly nice and has a decent location. Oh, I worked on a schedule for who has the older two when while I am gone, that was fun. I am betting it gets re-worked a bit too.

I have been pretty weepy lately, perhaps it is hormones. Little things get me good, things like candid pics of the older two when they were little. I am SO very much looking forward to being a baby-mommy again. Yet, on the other hand, I am nervous too! Where will they be at developmentally? What do we need to do to help them catch up? Will I remember everything I learned with the girls? I wish someone had a 4 month old that I could borrow for a day or two.

I know it's short but it's all I have...more as it happens.

Flying the beautiful skies!

2006-11-08T18:53:00.000-05:00

Ok, we finally ironed out the flights. I really wanted to fly a step-down from business class, but it simply was not going to work out. So, plan B.

We leave on Sat. December 2nd and will arrive there on the morning on the 4th (our time would be night-time on the 3rd) It iwll just be Brian and I. As it turns out, our trip coincides perfectly with my parents going to Florida, yes again, but this time with my Aunt and Uncle as well as Grandma. When they offered to take the older two to Disney a day or two, how can you refuse? Especially when airfare prices were rolling in!!! Believe it or not, the girls were a little upset, though they did get over it fairly quickly.

The husband will be with me for one week before heading home. Then the tough part, I'll be on my own for 5 days. It was that or he and/or my dad take time off without pay. I really am thinking I will be fine. I've had babies before, just not twins! So I plan on staying in those days unless I would happen to go somewhere with one of the two other families I will be traveling with. Besides I might need him to take time off more once we are home and have all 4 and juggling dr appointments and all.

Dad and I will be heading home on the 23rd of December and will arrive back in Ohio at 6:30 in the morning on Christmas Eve Day. I also think we are going to purchase an extra seat for the flight home. I know it is a bit of money, quite a bit actually, but I know we are going to need the space. The international part of the flight will have bassinets for the babies, but the LA-Ohio flight won't. I am thinking it would be nice to have a spot to change diapers and let our arms take a rest a few times on that 4-5 hour flight.

What a holiday this will be, Merry Christmas to me and what better gift could I ever ask for than my girls all together for Christmas!!! I'm excited, can you tell? Now I need to focus energy on a hotel and visas.

Details

2006-11-07T19:36:00.000-05:00

Here is what I have for now and I promise to update as information provides itself.

Our G&R is scheduled for Dec 5th, this is the ceremony in which the twins are given to us by the Vietnamese government. Very exciting and final in the eyes of the Vietnamese. The rest of the time spent over there will be for processing the adoption and approving it with the US government. That can take anywhere from 2-3 weeks. Flights are pretty booked so we are trying to decide to get an early flight and risk it to be done ( or else perhaps be stuck in Vietnam until wella fter Christmas) OR to book a safer, later flight and arrive back in Ohio EARLY Christmas morning...tough one.

There are other options we haven't looked at as well.....

Very excited, very muddled in my head, hoping to figure it all out in the next 24 hours.

On phone now!

2006-11-07T14:34:00.000-05:00

On phone with agency now, we get our girls on December 5th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tickled Pink!

2006-11-05T19:02:00.000-05:00

We are so blessed to have people that love us and think of us. I can't even begin to name all of the people that regularly ask about us, are praying for us, and excited for us! I wish I could name them all, but I won't for the fear of forgetting to put someone down. You all know who you are....family, friends, co-workers, church members, and even on-line friends! Thank you for your support and prayers, thank you for thinking of us and for offering your advice and help. I am not sure we can ever repay the favor or even begin to express our gratitude for this the greatest gift of all, your time!

I also want to say a few thank you's to a few people that have sent gifts our way. It is SO fun to open pink packages. IF I FORGET SOMEONE HERE, LET ME KNOW!
First baby gift we recieved was from my Aunt Jody, 2 wonderfully soft fleece blankets that are sewn to form a sort of pocket for baby to go in, wonderful for swadling up in the elements and I am sure a must take for when we go pick out our not so big as last year Christmas tree. One in green and one in lavendar, but with the most adorable funky flower ribbon trim on it!!!
We also have a sweet gal that works at my parent's place that made baby sweaters for us. Dee is in highschool and for some odd reason loves my kids (even in their bad moments) and she made two matching little white sweaters with pearly buttons on them....so cute and cuddly!
My Aunt Linda and familyy, (baby cousin's mom, see pics from last month) gave us a gift card to get car seat covers with as it gets very COLD in Ohio. I already know what kind I want and can't wait to go get them.
The girls' Aunt Jodi (my sister-in-law) sent a box this weekend. Let me tell you this was fun to open. Gracie helped me and we had fun. It was all packaged in pink tissue and held quite a few goodies: baby toys and teethers, cute matching sleepers, Monogramed onsies and matching shorts (similar to what you might find in the Princess Nataley collection!) and really fun onesies for next spring/summer. AND we can't forget stickers, lipgloss and a lollipop for my two older girls....they decided to pack them in their backpack for on the airplane (I'll have to remove the gloss and put into their quart baggy for security check in)

Then I have had so many people offer us to borrow stuff, I've listed some of them before. It is so very nice to not have to go out and buy two of everything! I keep wishing I had kept some of the girls' baby clothes. I had such adorable pieces, but at that point in our life, one of us was pretty set on not growing our family any more than where it was. You do what you do when you can and when storing all those clothes for a year turns into 2 then more you do what you do. Now, I sit back and peek in the suitcase and closet and figure it's a fair trade, some of their clothes are too cute to handle without tears and wishing they were here to fill them.

I really wanted to post how blessed and thankful I am, though I don't think a post to a blog could do that. This is simply all I can do to put it to words.
Looking forward to hearing solid news this week on travel (I hope!) We are all yearning to hold them and love them, though I feel like I have no stance to complain on a wait, others have waited for far too long.

Lots of food

2006-11-03T23:33:00.000-05:00

Some parents at our church came up with this great idea called date night. There are a group of about 7 families and we all take turns watching everyone elses kids. So for one night watching 13 children, you get 6 months worth of free babysitting the first friday night of the month. I am not much for a room full of kids that aren't mine, BUT it is SOOOOOooooooo worth it. Usually we go out to dinner or something, but tonight we stayed in. We cooked, and cooked, and cooked some more. Beef Stroganoff, Sausage and Rice, Bacon Corn Chowder, and so on. We have roasts sitting in the freezer with carrots, onions, and broth/seasonings...all we have to do is drop them in the crockpot. We have chicken breast marinating in 3 different marinades, sitting in the freezer, waiting to be baked for supper. We did a cooking marathon and were able to do 18 dishes to put in our freezer, where I have already managed to put back 6 or so. I would like to do another marathon of 15 or so and then I will feel comfortable with what I have left for the family when they return home without me and for when the babies and I arrive home as well.
What a mess, but in the middle of December I am going to be glad!
No news this week on a travel date, weekend will probable be rough except for the fact that my two aunts are coming to visit grandma...that means baby cousin to hold and try out in my slings and her older brother for my girls to play with.
Lots of visiting with a side of cute baby makes for a weekend much tolerable than last!

Decision Made

2006-10-31T18:27:00.000-05:00

First off, thank you to those who have emailed me and commented with their support. It means more than you may know to know that there are others that understand!

I have decided I am going to plan on leaving Thanksgiving Day.

What exactly does that mean, you may ask? I PROMISE I will not be taking of to Vietnam without a G&R date, I promise. Don't want anyone thinking I am going to go over there and hang out for the month or something...I am much more practical than that. I just am figuring that Thanksgiving is the last part of the month and it will help me get through the month should I need to wait the entire month for travel.

Do I hope to leave earlier than that? YOU BET!

Is there a chance I will leave earlier than that? Absolutely, and I hope a good one!

Is there a chance I will leave later than that? Unfortunately, yes. You see nothing is final until we are assigned a giving and recieving date (G&R) so until that point, much can happen.

Meanwhile I plan on re-organizing my house. My good friend Deb came over today and helped me with my kitchen cupboards. I love organization, but hate organizing. If there is a place for something, I will put it there....I'm really bad about getting a place made for everything. With two more in our house however, there will not be room for clutter or stuff sitting around. We did quite a bit today, I am super pleased that with the exception of the toaster, hot water pot (we are big time tea drinkers) and one crock of utensils, my kitchen counters are free and clear and sparkling too!

I think I will work on the school room some tomorrow, it isn't too bad. Something I can tackle on my own for a little moral boost. Don't ask why I need to boost my own moral, but it works...one of those strange things.

Hoping to type a travel announcement any day but ok with waiting, again :)

Something Happened

2006-10-30T16:39:00.000-05:00

I am not sure what it was, but somethign happened. THis weekend evolved into a funk for me that will not go away.

I want to go get the other half of my family....now.

I can't explain it. On Friday, I was all "we'll travel when we travel" and life goes on. No big deal.

Today I am jumping everytime the phone rings. I want to go get my babies. Is it because the nursery is done and no longer a distraction? Is it because November (the month we are supposed to travel is only a couple days away? I don't know and quite frankly I don't care. Is that terrible, I hope not. I simply am ready to go.

By ready to go, I don't mean packed, or immunized, or tickets in hand...I haven't even sent for our Visa's. Internally, I am ready and I think the rest of the family is on board with me though not so anxiouse (a mom thing?)

For those of you who pray, please remember us this week. I would ask for a travel date soon, but I simply want God's will and timing. Right now I just need to be calm and know that He is in control...somehow I lost hold of this sometime the past weekend.

Yummy Pho

2006-10-26T11:39:00.000-04:00

Last night we had our first taste of Pho. YUM! It is a very flavorful broth with rice noodles, thin bits of meat and a plate full of herbs/veggies to add in. VERY GOOD and very filling! We also had Vermacelli (sp?) with charbroilled chicken. Also served with teh herbs/veggies, but right in the dish this time. I can not wait to get to Vietnam and immerse in their food a bit more. I need a good pho recipe, though, as that is something I would love to serve my family for a meal.
If anyone is in the central Ohio area and wonders where we ate, I can't remember the name of the place but it was in Columbus on the north side of Morse road just east of 71. I plan to return to eat here again if possible.

Nursery update. I finished the small spot I was lacking and am thinking that since I have to much left (one gallon minus one inch) that I might try doing the inset on the closet door just for the fun of it. I know, crazy, but it'll look good. I am trying to figure out if I need to go ahead and decorate and look for something in Vietnam to hang in there to match (might be harder to find something) OR if I should wait to decorate until I find the something in Vietnam that I want to hang (won't have much decorating time when I get home with the then 4 month old twins!)
Decisions...
Jenn

packing

2006-10-22T20:39:00.000-04:00

I washed the twins' clothes last night and began packing today. Babies take a good chunk of stuff, two take even more. Ugh, I have even went through and tried to figure out what I might not be needing and eliminated one blanket. I wish you could hear me laughing at that!!!!
Anyhow, I did divide it out, one warmer outfit in this suitcase and the other, one cooler outfit in this suitcase and the other. Ends up I have two half full suitcases and have yet to put in bottles or meds yet. I was really hoping to only check two bags (these are carry-on size, so we can take them carry-on if we would want to), but read the above and remember there are two more adults and 2 children coming along. I wonder if we can all pack a weeks worth of clothes into our carry-on backpacks? I do plan on having laundry done at least twice while there and I am also bringing Woolite single-uses so that we can wash underwear and baby-stuff on demand. We really do not want to over pack as we are going to have our hands full of kids and babies, let alone needing everyone to drag a couple pieces of luggage! Maybe one more checked bag would be ok. Then I have to think that my husband will be needing to return home with a chunk of this....anyone ever shipped items home, including their own clothes?

My oldest girls

2006-10-20T21:53:00.000-04:00

So the question now is if we should take teh older two with us. I know, we thought we had settled that earlier, but it still nags at us. We have NEVER left them like this, ever. The grandparents on both sides are not the type to take one or both of the kids overnight, just because. It's tough, they want to go with us, but will be okay no matter what. The price of their tickets is quite a chunk. If they were to go with us they would return home with Brian and not stay the whole trip. We have their passports, just in case. Ugh! Anyone with experience out there? Advice is welcome, especially from those experienced in world travel/adoption travel.
We know we can handle them, but can they handle Vietnam? Would it be better on the twins if we were to have that time alone with them? Who knows. If they were to go with us, though, I think we would shorten Brian's trip just a bit...we'll need him to be back at work.
If only money weren't an issue. Then they would go with us and stay the whole time with us in a 2-bedroom 4 or 5 start resort :) We will have to decide for sure pretty soon though as we expect to get a travel date in the next couple weeks.

Dreaming, I know...

Travel is looming

2006-10-19T23:13:00.000-04:00

Why on earth does that title sound so ominous? That is how it feels right now. There is so much to get done, so much I don't know yet (including the date we need to be there!) and yet I know that travel is lurking around the corner ready to jump out at me at any given moment and say "BOO!" I don't want it to take me by surprise, I want to be prepared.....Ugh. I have come to terms with the fact that I might only have a week or maybe two from notice to leave and actually leaving. I have plans to get the beds all switched around and the older two sharing a room. The babies "stuff" is about half packed and I have a mental list as well as 2 or 3 computer lists of things I plan on taking, clothes I will need, etc. BUT WHEN? Any of you out there feeling a bit "suspense-full" for me (is that even a word, probably not) Imagine how I am feeling! Are the airlines going to be picked over with only the cruddy seats left, will the hotels I would like to stay at be booked up? But, what can I do but wait and be sure I am doing what I can as time tick-tocks by. I've thought of getting one of those cute little counters that people have, I love them. I like seeing the time tick down until they travel to their little ones, but I don't think I can handle it on my blog...too much anxiety when it applies to oneself.

and....

On another hand, though, travel is just around the corner and I will finally be able to hold my baby girls!!!!! I wonder how big they will feel in my arms, will they cry at the strange looking lady holding them, will they smile at the stranger with the hair like they haven't seen? Are they eating well, being loved on and held? Will they adjust to life outside of the orphanage well? How will they handle the air flight home? I hope I can tell them apart, and that I haven't forgotten how to take care of a baby. I can not wait to see their country, their heritage...to eat the food, see the country, and of course do a bit of shopping. How on earth am I going to shop with two little babies! Most of all I can't for us all to be home and be a family. The girls are so excited to see their sisters. They want so badly to go along...if only. Will the twins like their big sisters, will they smile when the oldest plays peek-a-boo to no end? Will they coo at Little Bit's soft face and gentle words?

I wonder.

Jenn

Precious little lips!

2006-10-16T22:04:00.000-04:00

Can you see those precious little lips? I'm not posting who is who, but you have all now had a glimpse of our new pictures of the twins. What a sweet, sweet thing to wake up and have your babies' pictures waiting for you. It amazes me how the more I see the pictures they cuter they look. I am so anxious to go and love on them. Don't those cheeks look ready for smooches!
I tried all day to post "eyes" but blogger would not cooperate, figured I had better post this snippet while I still had it working properly.
Here is wishing everyone as happy a day as I had today!

Eyes!

2006-10-16T08:24:00.000-04:00

I can't begin to tell you all how wonderful a day can be when you first see the eyes of your child! Today is just such day.
More soon!

still going

2006-10-14T09:30:00.000-04:00

In adoption world, not much going on.
Waiting to hear on our home loan, twins don't come cheap you know! Why you may ask was this not all taken care of before? Simply put, this is all happening so fast and about 6-9 months ahead of when we thought it would! I do know however that we haven't been given more than we can handle, so we just are going with the flow and hoping to get half of the adoption cost out of the home loan. Did I mention we really don't like credit cards. We have one we use for EVERYTHING, but pay off each month. It has a great rewards program that really helps when Christmas comes around. I do have a feeling though that this year instead of using it for Christmas, we might be using it to buy formula! Other than that, no credit card use...well we didn't at least. Seems like that is going to change here real soon. So much for working towards debt-free..we'll be starting over from scratch on that one.
We also are waiting to hear on a travel date, I hope to have that in about 3 weeks or so, maybe 4. Waiting to hear more about travel, waiting to decide who has our girls and when while Brian is with me, waiting to see if a family friend will watch our Emmy dog, waiting on clearer pictures, can you tell I am still waiting a fair bit! I don't mind waiting right now though, I am in a good spot. Good things come to those who wait right!
When the new pics come in, I promise to give you all little bits and pieces to see of the babies, but after I get a day or two to enjoy them first. Mean,? Perhaps, but I am their mommy and it is my right to enjoy them with the family before the rest of you...sorry! I also do not think I am going to post their entire pics, too many problems with being posted on the WWW for anyone and everyone to look at, print, share, steal, etc. Yes, I am an overprotective mom and no I am not ashamed of it.

Still kicking

2006-10-10T10:25:00.000-04:00

Well, we are still going on and moving forward. That doesn't sound like much does it, well it isn't. Working on waiting is about what we are doing right now. We do not have a travel date, and won't for awhile. Therefore I can't plan where the children will be, who will have the dog when, etc. Working with the bank still on how we are going to pay for this all. Doing quite a bit of waiting. Waiting on clearer pics of the babies, waiting on more medical info if we can get access to it, waiting on packing bags until we know when we will be traveling, waiting to buy more clothes for the babies in case they are bigger or smaller than we think, waiting to buy formula because it is so darn expensive! So when I say we are still going and moving forward, that really is about all we are doing.

I did pick up a really good Vietnam guide book, lonely Planet. The other one I had contained much opinion from one who lives in Europe...Not very helpful to this American chick as I had little clue what she meant most of the time regarding facilities. This guide is arranged well, chock full of information (with a side of opinion), and looks like it will be a must have in the backpack.

I am almost done rearranging the girls' bedrooms so they can share the larger one and hoping next week to complete the smaller one into a nursery. We have decided that the babies are going to share a crib, unless for some reason it doesn't work out, but we will start out that way at least. I am feeling like we don't need two of everything, a nice variety would be good, a swing and a bouncy seat, a crib and a play-pen, a bathtub and a changing table. The crib thing was a decision made out of a lack of space and finances, but more so because I really feel the girls will like having someone to be close to when they sleep and seeing each other in the mornings. That and with one crib we can leave a twin bed in there in case I would need to sleep in there case to them for some reason (sick, not adjust to our time zone yet, etc.) We have gathered most of the things we need, just need to go get those babies now!

A visit with my baby cousin helped this weekend, she is waking up more now and looking around, you can just about get a good smile out of her too!! Wonder if the twins are smiling yet?

Overwhelmed, a bit!

2006-10-06T14:12:00.000-04:00

Well, here's the latest in adoption world (as if there is any other world right now around out house!)
I sent out a BIG payment to our agency, biggest amount of money I've sent out yet, by far. It was exciting in a way, but those that know our family know that we aren't big spenders...in a way it was kind of hard to do it! Oh, but the rewards on this can't even be numbered in dollars or cents, that is for sure!!!
Still working on a name for one on the babies, we quickly agreed on the one name, but the other is stumping us...a bad case of "he likes, she likes" going on at our house. We'll figure it out soon and then I'll post to let you all know.
Travel will come fairly quick for us, November. It still seems funny to even say it. When starting this process we honestly thought we'd be at least looking at May/June of 2007. Surprise! So now we have to figure out who is traveling with me and for how long, etc. My husband didn't save many vacation days as we were going to be going next year, not this year. So I am REALLY hoping that we leave the week of Thanksgiving...it'll provide two more days that he can stay with me without cutting into our income. From there on out my dad is planning to fly in and help me out. I can't imagine being there on my own with two 3 month old babies, and some laugh at the thought of my dad (think big teddy bear of a guy) helping me. I know that he will do fine, worst comes to worst he takes care of luggage right!!! All kidding aside, he was really good with both of my girls when they were little and I know he'll do just fine. See I keep telling myself that if I know my dad will do fine, I will do fine as well! I get nervouse about the emotions and all of having 2 little ones and being in a foriegn country. I know I will do fine, but there is that part of me that doesn't listen to my head.
The hardest part of the whole trip is that I will be gone from my oldest two for 3 weeks.
Ouch....
I have left them once for about 5 days to attend a convention and I missed them terribly. Trying to figure out where they will be, who can take care of them while we are gone is a process as well. I have had quite a few people step-up to say they will take them a day or two, and I can't tell them all how much I appreciate it!!! It's hard planing care for your kids for so long, especially when you won't know a for sure ate for a while and you would simply rather have them with you.
I haven't been away from the husband longer than that either, and I hate the thought of being 10 or 12 days without him. I lean on him so much, probably too much and I know I will miss having him at my side. We are such a family bunch its great, and I'll miss out on it for awhile. I am trying to figure out the best way to communicate back home while I am gone. Email I know is easiest and we will be bringing a laptop with us (Thanks Mom!) I am hoping I will still be able to post to blogger, unless it is blocked. In that case I might try to have someone on blog duty. I know how much I have enjoyed reading travel notes of those who have been there and come back and I want to provide the same sevice to those waiting that read my blog as well as update my family and friends on where I am at and how things are going.
So sorry my posts are getting longer and longer. Can you tell I have a lot on my mind!
more to spill out later...

Hush-hush

2006-10-04T15:59:00.000-04:00

Some wonder why I am being cryptic, hush-hush, or mysterious about our referral.

Answer: I don't really know! Perhaps I always communicate this way, ask my husband...he'll tell the truth at least! Is it a part of my motherly instincts wanting to protect my young, knowing if their photos are posted they are out there for the world to see? Is part of it simply being selfish and wanting to enjoy that first bit of time all to ourselves (just our family)? I really am not sure.
I do know I love these little girls that I can barely see in the pictures, that I have never met, and that I simply am having a hard time naming one of. I wan to protect them, help heal the hurt they may have already felt, nourish them, love on them, watch them sleep, and smell their little baby heads.
I NEVER dreamed I would get twin girls, and babies at that! Maybe now is a good time to share a bit of how the girls found us:

In doing our homestudy and paperwork, we simply knew that we were to ask for siblings and that we didn't want to upset the birth order in the house. SO, we asked for under 5 and preferably siblings. We felt stronger about the sibling part than any age in that range, and we really didn't have a preference of gender. Now, having asked for that we were thinking we would perhaps get a toddler and either an older or younger sibling. We read books to that end, sold most of the newborn baby stuff we had, etc. Two weeks ago, Molly, a friend I have found on our adoption journey called me to let me know some great news. She had a firend whose agency had twins available and no one in their agency paper ready. I was SO excited as here were siblings with no one to claim them!!! Then I am told they are babies...bad news. Why? We had a rough time when our oldest were babies, really rough. I knew for sure my husband would say absolutely not, no babies, we can't handle two. So I read him the email, and he didn't say "no, absolutely not". In fact, he pretty much agreed to look into it more and see what happens. This begins a string of events that set us up for getting our girls. Day by day, paperwork happened by the time it needed to, and as time passed this looked more and more like a reality for us and my husband still is not saying no! Anyone who knew us 4 almost 5 years ago will understand why he was like that. If any of you out there believe in God, I can tell you with certainty that His handprint is all over this. We were simply going along our own way, when BOOM! He had a different plan for us. Our prayer throughout this whole journey was that we trusted in that He gave us the desire for siblings, and that He would know which children we are to parent. So, we simply asked that He made a clear path to the correct children for us, and our prayer was answered! Thank you so much Molly for following your gut and sending those girls our way, I honestly think you were part of God's plan for us and I am forever greatful!!!

P.S. all of those out there with babies or babies on the way...BabiesRUs is having a sale on their brand of diapers. I was able to get 768 diapers for $60 and am thinking of going back for more next time I am in a big city. Lets see...20 diapers a day...7 days a week...my, oh, my... that is only 5 and a half weeks. This could get expensive!!!

She Shops!

2006-10-03T09:53:00.000-04:00

I should say "We shop." At the last minute my mom decided to accompany us to the zoo yesterday. We get down to Columbus and the sky is dark, it's sprinkling, and the girls need to stretch their legs. Do we go to a McDonald's with a playplace, or a mall with a playplace....hmmmm, tough decision, right!
We ended up at the Polaris mall, very nice! They have a good mix of "top-line"/"designer stores" and "regular people can afford me" stores. Their playplace has only one entrance and exit with lots of climing and slides. We took our time letting them play and planned where we would want to go. Mom needed a few things at a store upstairs and my big thing I had an eye for was a diaper bag. I know boring, but I felt like I needed to keep my eye out for a nice backpack diaper bag as I am not going to have a free hand for a carry one.
Let me just say JC Penney's was having 40% off of already marked down clearance!!!
We came home with enough to get us to Vietnam and back...so if anyone out there is thinking they might buy the twins some clothes, it is much appreciated, but we don't need anything in 0-3 We figure they will outgrow that size shortly after we get home, and as you will see below we bought enough to travel with. (I think it's enough, any of you with travel experience let me know if I need to take more clothes for them!) Penney's had lots of little sleepers and one piece outfits that were marked down to $4.99-$7.99 and then 40% off after that!

Here is what we took home:
4 sleepers, 4 outfits and one dress each in 0-3
5 onsies in 0-3
3 sleepers and 2 outfits each in 3-6
1 sleeper, one outfit each and 5 onsies in 6-9 month
a couple of pairs of socks
my diaper bag backpack in a simple black design!

The girls were so good while we shopped the sale, they even found something for the babies. Each picked out a pink blanket taht was rolled up with a hat on it for the babies, one picked a rabbit had, the other picked a kitten hat. Very cute and very sweet!
I found an outfit I really liked for their Giving and Recieving, it's little white sundresses with pink flowers on it. Very simple, but cute little dresses, with matching bonnets and socks of course. I just need to find 2 little white sweaters to go with them and bows in case their hair will hold them.
I also picked up on clearance 2 little white hats, jsut the knit caps you generally see for little ones. They have a small spray of pink flowers embroidered on them and one says "I Love My Mommy" while the other says "I Love My Daddy" Who could resist at only $3!!!
So my days of shopping were engulfed into one. I won't plan on buying any more clothes, as I have a feeling the twins will recieve some BEAUTIFUL outfits from some family members. The only things I need for the nursury that I haven't held onto from my girls being babies would be crib sheets and a monitor. We have car seats covered (Thanks Em!) Another gal I know that had twins is pregnant again, for "only one this time" as she says, is going to provide one bouncy seat, another cirb if we think we will need it, and a few other items. I feel so blessed each time I think of all the things I am not going to have to go out and buy new! It will help us be able to purchase truckloads of diapers and formula, we'll need it!

Preparing to be a mother of babies again...

Celebrating!

2006-10-02T09:12:00.000-04:00

Today I am taking the girls to the zoo to celebrate. Now mind you we live in the middle of corn, cows, and the Amish, so it will be a little bit of a drive. So I have to pack a lunch, snacks, and car entertainment.

What am I celebrating, you may ask?
We have received our referral!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Introducing:
xxxxxxHoa and xxxxxxxLan
We are the proud forever parents of twin baby girls! They are in the northern part of Vietnam, near Hanoi, and though the couple pictures we got are a bit fuzzy, I can tell they are simple beautiful!

It helps too that just down the road from the zoo a bit is a Babies R' Us and a JoAnn fabrics (I am wanting to try my hand at making a mei tai.) I had the urge to do a bit of baby shopping yesterday and will do so in bits and pieces as not to kill the budget around here. Anyhow, I was at the grocery and diapers/formula seemed to lack the bit of shopping joy I craved. We now own 4 8oz and 2 4oz bottles, in pink and purple of course, with two different types of nipples to take with us. Anyone ever had twins before, is that enough???

The reason things have been so crazy the past few posts were that as I am gathering our last minute dossier, this also includes an agency switch. I was perfectly happy with our agency, and had no intentions of leaving them, but the twins found me. I did not go looking for them, they found me and I am so blessed to be their mommy!

Our older girls are so excited to be "bigger" sisters. They want to help with names, bottles, diapers, peek-a-boo, etc. It cracks me up to see them almost as excited as I am!

More on how the twins found us later, and I will post pictures as time and contracts allow for good images

Names xxxxxxx'd for security of our children