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Sunday, January 07, 2007

Clearing the air

As I go back through my trip accounts, I want to make one thing clear. My agency did nothing unethical or illegal.

Sound silly to some, but others who read the online boards and know how crazy international adoptions can be, it means the world. I am sure some were reading and thinking, poor Jenn...she shouldn't have switched agencies. I am sure others were emailing don't use X agency, that family is having all kinds of trouble. If you hear of an agency that has had NO problems, I'd be a bit afraid of why as things are still new in Vietnam and both governments are trying to find the right way to do things.

Yes things went awry, yes it might have been handled differently, yes I had hoped for easy-peasy. BUT it happened how it did and it really was an unfortunate string of events. Our facilitator did the best she could do with the amount of families she had (7) in the two different provinces that were nearly 5 hours appart. She did NOTHING that would be percieved as unethical and was very adamant about doing things by the book...I respect her greatly as I know she was under much pressure to follow the footsteps of many other agencys, especially when we heard the timeline for embassy appointments. I hope that I never pressured her to do something wrong, and I don't thing that I did.

To those families researching agencies or thinking of international adoption: it is an unstable world that has constantly evolving issues and concerns. All of this is to hopefully protect the children. No one wants to hear that their child was purchased from his or her parents with the promise of a better future for baby and the equivilent of a years income for the poor family. It is child-trafficking...plain and simple. It is so hard to wait, it is even harder to be "stuck" in a foreign country. Though I wouldn't call it stuck (I already miss Vietnam, it is an amazing place), but it is how I felt. The Vietnamese government was making changes that delayed us enough, but then to get caught-up in the back-log of families at the embassy and the internet and communication issues on top of that, ugh! It was very trying and I want to make sure that I communicate well that our agency did nothing wrong through all of this.

There were many factors that affected our process. Had we been in the south, I would have been home at least a week earlier, at least. Had our G&R not been moved, I would have been home at least a week earlier, perhaps more. Were it not for other agencies making appointments before G&R's I might not have been sniffling tears back as I packed a suitcase on Friday morning wondering if I will be going home as I would likely have gotten my appointment earlier. As adoptive parents I can not stress how important it is for us to know the process in our country, to be prepared, and to keep an eye out for things that aren't right. If your facilitator is doing one thing shady, what is to say other things aren't being done properly and where do you draw the line? A good facilitator is key. To some a good facilitator is one who can get things done quickly, to me it is someone who does it right. I would certainly use our agency again, especially now that our facilitator has even more experience.

For our family reading this, no that last line does not mean we are doing this again...but you know us, we won't rule anything out until God tells us to!

Signed,
one who had to clear the air of the dust she might have stirred and the dirt that others try to throw

4 Comments:

At 1/07/2007 11:33 AM , Anonymous LaurieW said...

I was just reading today how international adoptions numbers for 2006 were down from previous years and it was attributed to changes in the foreign countries and how much more difficult the process was. I guess I never thought it could/would be easy- and was amazed at how well you did with so much uncertainty!!

 
At 1/07/2007 7:19 PM , Blogger -Jenny said...

I agree 100% with you.
My agency was great. We would have been out a week or more earlier if we were in the south. We would have been out earlier if the embassy wasn't soo backed up and my agency didn't follow things to the letter and not apply us for embassy appts until after G&R.

It was lovely to meet you and I hope the girls continue to grow and blossom.
-J

 
At 1/08/2007 8:04 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jenn,
Thanks for the post.
It is good to know that you feel everything was done as honestly and ethically as possible. I think you hit the nail right on the head when you said things are constantly changing in Vietnam.
Those of us who are next in line to travel have to realize that nothing is set in stone, when it come to adopting internationally.

Stephanie

 
At 1/09/2007 4:19 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

good for you, for setting the record straight. I am relieved to hear that the problems you encountered were situational, and not related to your agency. And can I say, I am thrilled you are home with those perfect little girls?

 

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