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Tuesday, August 08, 2006

A Husbands Perspective

Oh, dear, a husbands perspective. A view into the mind of a man? Well, this one, in particular, has about a thousand things swirling throughout my head. New job I'm still learning, educating my children, spending time with them, loving on them, spending time with my wife, talking and paying attention to her, paying bills, keeping cars running, mowing lawn, fixing up the house, and on and on and on. Four is a nice round number. Two pairs. Enter into this constant swirling of thought and activity is my beautiful wife and her every increasing pressure about expanding the family. It only took me about 2 years to finally get the hint that she was serious. Go figure.

Hint to all you ladies who might read this: Guys are very simple and can be very dumb. If you want us to know something or to do something, you must come right out and tell us. We do not, repeat, DO NOT pick up on hints very well. In fact, we stink at it. We do not talk in hints to each other, and the art of dropping hints is confusing to us. When you drop a hint, we become confused, don't know what to say, can't tell if you're being serious, and end up forgetting about it when another of life's pressures comes after us. Just come out and tell us in a the loving way only a wife can: Supportive, affirming, and to the point. You should get more response out of your man than normally.

Back to the not so distant past. So, like any pessimist, I look at all the downsides of the adoption process. I pretty much put my wife through the wringer about why not adopt domestically, how much will it cost, is it really best for her and for the rest of it, where would they sleep, how could we afford it, etc. Well, as a determined woman always is, she had an answer for every question. It took a few weeks and a few more talks before she had me on board. What can I say, when my wife really wants something, it's hard to tell that pretty woman "No." So, after the talks and after the research, and after much prayer, I joined my wife in this adoption process. Six is a nice number, too. :) I still have no idea how we are going to pay for it, though.

Sometimes you get a feeling of God telling you "No", sometimes a confident "Yes", and sometimes He just stays quiet. For me, He's been quiet. But what is faith without a little testing? I've been tested before and I'm starting to recognize the feeling. I guess I should just support my wife and trust in my God that He'll provide. He has in the past. And, if there is one thing spoken by God repeatedly throughout the Bible, it's about defending/helping the widows and orphans. That's something to noodle.

Right now, I'm letting my wife handle the details. She seems to want to do it and I'm not sure I could do a better job even if I had the time. She's doing a great job keeping informed and up to date. And I support when I can. The education part of the homestudy will be a challenge, but I just have to make the time and do it. Jenn has pretty much summed up the events up till now. People have given us mixed reactions, but have been generally supportive. I'm sure what else to write at the moment. I don't mean to be weird, but it's my first blog. I'd be better if I had a specific question to answer. Oh, well. Good luck to all in the process. God bless.


At 8/08/2006 8:27 PM , Blogger Sarah said...


It's so neat to hear from a daddy. I think your perspective and my husband's could nearly be carbon copies. He has the same worries. We're not sure where the money will come from either, but we know God has provided before. Matt also lets me take care of all the details and I fill him in on info.

Take care,


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