Decision Made

First off, thank you to those who have emailed me and commented with their support. It means more than you may know to know that there are others that understand!

I have decided I am going to plan on leaving Thanksgiving Day.

What exactly does that mean, you may ask? I PROMISE I will not be taking of to Vietnam without a G&R date, I promise. Don't want anyone thinking I am going to go over there and hang out for the month or something...I am much more practical than that. I just am figuring that Thanksgiving is the last part of the month and it will help me get through the month should I need to wait the entire month for travel.

Do I hope to leave earlier than that? YOU BET!

Is there a chance I will leave earlier than that? Absolutely, and I hope a good one!

Is there a chance I will leave later than that? Unfortunately, yes. You see nothing is final until we are assigned a giving and recieving date (G&R) so until that point, much can happen.

Meanwhile I plan on re-organizing my house. My good friend Deb came over today and helped me with my kitchen cupboards. I love organization, but hate organizing. If there is a place for something, I will put it there....I'm really bad about getting a place made for everything. With two more in our house however, there will not be room for clutter or stuff sitting around. We did quite a bit today, I am super pleased that with the exception of the toaster, hot water pot (we are big time tea drinkers) and one crock of utensils, my kitchen counters are free and clear and sparkling too!

I think I will work on the school room some tomorrow, it isn't too bad. Something I can tackle on my own for a little moral boost. Don't ask why I need to boost my own moral, but it works...one of those strange things.

Hoping to type a travel announcement any day but ok with waiting, again :)

Something Happened

I am not sure what it was, but somethign happened. THis weekend evolved into a funk for me that will not go away.

I want to go get the other half of my family....now.

I can't explain it. On Friday, I was all "we'll travel when we travel" and life goes on. No big deal.

Today I am jumping everytime the phone rings. I want to go get my babies. Is it because the nursery is done and no longer a distraction? Is it because November (the month we are supposed to travel is only a couple days away? I don't know and quite frankly I don't care. Is that terrible, I hope not. I simply am ready to go.

By ready to go, I don't mean packed, or immunized, or tickets in hand...I haven't even sent for our Visa's. Internally, I am ready and I think the rest of the family is on board with me though not so anxiouse (a mom thing?)

For those of you who pray, please remember us this week. I would ask for a travel date soon, but I simply want God's will and timing. Right now I just need to be calm and know that He is in control...somehow I lost hold of this sometime the past weekend.

Yummy Pho

Last night we had our first taste of Pho. YUM! It is a very flavorful broth with rice noodles, thin bits of meat and a plate full of herbs/veggies to add in. VERY GOOD and very filling! We also had Vermacelli (sp?) with charbroilled chicken. Also served with teh herbs/veggies, but right in the dish this time. I can not wait to get to Vietnam and immerse in their food a bit more. I need a good pho recipe, though, as that is something I would love to serve my family for a meal.
If anyone is in the central Ohio area and wonders where we ate, I can't remember the name of the place but it was in Columbus on the north side of Morse road just east of 71. I plan to return to eat here again if possible.

Nursery update. I finished the small spot I was lacking and am thinking that since I have to much left (one gallon minus one inch) that I might try doing the inset on the closet door just for the fun of it. I know, crazy, but it'll look good. I am trying to figure out if I need to go ahead and decorate and look for something in Vietnam to hang in there to match (might be harder to find something) OR if I should wait to decorate until I find the something in Vietnam that I want to hang (won't have much decorating time when I get home with the then 4 month old twins!)
Decisions...
Jenn

packing

I washed the twins' clothes last night and began packing today. Babies take a good chunk of stuff, two take even more. Ugh, I have even went through and tried to figure out what I might not be needing and eliminated one blanket. I wish you could hear me laughing at that!!!!
Anyhow, I did divide it out, one warmer outfit in this suitcase and the other, one cooler outfit in this suitcase and the other. Ends up I have two half full suitcases and have yet to put in bottles or meds yet. I was really hoping to only check two bags (these are carry-on size, so we can take them carry-on if we would want to), but read the above and remember there are two more adults and 2 children coming along. I wonder if we can all pack a weeks worth of clothes into our carry-on backpacks? I do plan on having laundry done at least twice while there and I am also bringing Woolite single-uses so that we can wash underwear and baby-stuff on demand. We really do not want to over pack as we are going to have our hands full of kids and babies, let alone needing everyone to drag a couple pieces of luggage! Maybe one more checked bag would be ok. Then I have to think that my husband will be needing to return home with a chunk of this....anyone ever shipped items home, including their own clothes?

My oldest girls

So the question now is if we should take teh older two with us. I know, we thought we had settled that earlier, but it still nags at us. We have NEVER left them like this, ever. The grandparents on both sides are not the type to take one or both of the kids overnight, just because. It's tough, they want to go with us, but will be okay no matter what. The price of their tickets is quite a chunk. If they were to go with us they would return home with Brian and not stay the whole trip. We have their passports, just in case. Ugh! Anyone with experience out there? Advice is welcome, especially from those experienced in world travel/adoption travel.
We know we can handle them, but can they handle Vietnam? Would it be better on the twins if we were to have that time alone with them? Who knows. If they were to go with us, though, I think we would shorten Brian's trip just a bit...we'll need him to be back at work.
If only money weren't an issue. Then they would go with us and stay the whole time with us in a 2-bedroom 4 or 5 start resort :) We will have to decide for sure pretty soon though as we expect to get a travel date in the next couple weeks.

Dreaming, I know...

Travel is looming

Why on earth does that title sound so ominous? That is how it feels right now. There is so much to get done, so much I don't know yet (including the date we need to be there!) and yet I know that travel is lurking around the corner ready to jump out at me at any given moment and say "BOO!" I don't want it to take me by surprise, I want to be prepared.....Ugh. I have come to terms with the fact that I might only have a week or maybe two from notice to leave and actually leaving. I have plans to get the beds all switched around and the older two sharing a room. The babies "stuff" is about half packed and I have a mental list as well as 2 or 3 computer lists of things I plan on taking, clothes I will need, etc. BUT WHEN? Any of you out there feeling a bit "suspense-full" for me (is that even a word, probably not) Imagine how I am feeling! Are the airlines going to be picked over with only the cruddy seats left, will the hotels I would like to stay at be booked up? But, what can I do but wait and be sure I am doing what I can as time tick-tocks by. I've thought of getting one of those cute little counters that people have, I love them. I like seeing the time tick down until they travel to their little ones, but I don't think I can handle it on my blog...too much anxiety when it applies to oneself.



and....


On another hand, though, travel is just around the corner and I will finally be able to hold my baby girls!!!!! I wonder how big they will feel in my arms, will they cry at the strange looking lady holding them, will they smile at the stranger with the hair like they haven't seen? Are they eating well, being loved on and held? Will they adjust to life outside of the orphanage well? How will they handle the air flight home? I hope I can tell them apart, and that I haven't forgotten how to take care of a baby. I can not wait to see their country, their heritage...to eat the food, see the country, and of course do a bit of shopping. How on earth am I going to shop with two little babies! Most of all I can't for us all to be home and be a family. The girls are so excited to see their sisters. They want so badly to go along...if only. Will the twins like their big sisters, will they smile when the oldest plays peek-a-boo to no end? Will they coo at Little Bit's soft face and gentle words?

I wonder.

Jenn

Precious little lips!

Can you see those precious little lips? I'm not posting who is who, but you have all now had a glimpse of our new pictures of the twins. What a sweet, sweet thing to wake up and have your babies' pictures waiting for you. It amazes me how the more I see the pictures they cuter they look. I am so anxious to go and love on them. Don't those cheeks look ready for smooches!
I tried all day to post "eyes" but blogger would not cooperate, figured I had better post this snippet while I still had it working properly.
Here is wishing everyone as happy a day as I had today!

Eyes!

I can't begin to tell you all how wonderful a day can be when you first see the eyes of your child! Today is just such day.
More soon!

still going

In adoption world, not much going on.
Waiting to hear on our home loan, twins don't come cheap you know! Why you may ask was this not all taken care of before? Simply put, this is all happening so fast and about 6-9 months ahead of when we thought it would! I do know however that we haven't been given more than we can handle, so we just are going with the flow and hoping to get half of the adoption cost out of the home loan. Did I mention we really don't like credit cards. We have one we use for EVERYTHING, but pay off each month. It has a great rewards program that really helps when Christmas comes around. I do have a feeling though that this year instead of using it for Christmas, we might be using it to buy formula! Other than that, no credit card use...well we didn't at least. Seems like that is going to change here real soon. So much for working towards debt-free..we'll be starting over from scratch on that one.
We also are waiting to hear on a travel date, I hope to have that in about 3 weeks or so, maybe 4. Waiting to hear more about travel, waiting to decide who has our girls and when while Brian is with me, waiting to see if a family friend will watch our Emmy dog, waiting on clearer pictures, can you tell I am still waiting a fair bit! I don't mind waiting right now though, I am in a good spot. Good things come to those who wait right!
When the new pics come in, I promise to give you all little bits and pieces to see of the babies, but after I get a day or two to enjoy them first. Mean,? Perhaps, but I am their mommy and it is my right to enjoy them with the family before the rest of you...sorry! I also do not think I am going to post their entire pics, too many problems with being posted on the WWW for anyone and everyone to look at, print, share, steal, etc. Yes, I am an overprotective mom and no I am not ashamed of it.

Still kicking

Well, we are still going on and moving forward. That doesn't sound like much does it, well it isn't. Working on waiting is about what we are doing right now. We do not have a travel date, and won't for awhile. Therefore I can't plan where the children will be, who will have the dog when, etc. Working with the bank still on how we are going to pay for this all. Doing quite a bit of waiting. Waiting on clearer pics of the babies, waiting on more medical info if we can get access to it, waiting on packing bags until we know when we will be traveling, waiting to buy more clothes for the babies in case they are bigger or smaller than we think, waiting to buy formula because it is so darn expensive! So when I say we are still going and moving forward, that really is about all we are doing.

I did pick up a really good Vietnam guide book, lonely Planet. The other one I had contained much opinion from one who lives in Europe...Not very helpful to this American chick as I had little clue what she meant most of the time regarding facilities. This guide is arranged well, chock full of information (with a side of opinion), and looks like it will be a must have in the backpack.

I am almost done rearranging the girls' bedrooms so they can share the larger one and hoping next week to complete the smaller one into a nursery. We have decided that the babies are going to share a crib, unless for some reason it doesn't work out, but we will start out that way at least. I am feeling like we don't need two of everything, a nice variety would be good, a swing and a bouncy seat, a crib and a play-pen, a bathtub and a changing table. The crib thing was a decision made out of a lack of space and finances, but more so because I really feel the girls will like having someone to be close to when they sleep and seeing each other in the mornings. That and with one crib we can leave a twin bed in there in case I would need to sleep in there case to them for some reason (sick, not adjust to our time zone yet, etc.) We have gathered most of the things we need, just need to go get those babies now!

A visit with my baby cousin helped this weekend, she is waking up more now and looking around, you can just about get a good smile out of her too!! Wonder if the twins are smiling yet?

Overwhelmed, a bit!

Well, here's the latest in adoption world (as if there is any other world right now around out house!)
I sent out a BIG payment to our agency, biggest amount of money I've sent out yet, by far. It was exciting in a way, but those that know our family know that we aren't big spenders...in a way it was kind of hard to do it! Oh, but the rewards on this can't even be numbered in dollars or cents, that is for sure!!!
Still working on a name for one on the babies, we quickly agreed on the one name, but the other is stumping us...a bad case of "he likes, she likes" going on at our house. We'll figure it out soon and then I'll post to let you all know.
Travel will come fairly quick for us, November. It still seems funny to even say it. When starting this process we honestly thought we'd be at least looking at May/June of 2007. Surprise! So now we have to figure out who is traveling with me and for how long, etc. My husband didn't save many vacation days as we were going to be going next year, not this year. So I am REALLY hoping that we leave the week of Thanksgiving...it'll provide two more days that he can stay with me without cutting into our income. From there on out my dad is planning to fly in and help me out. I can't imagine being there on my own with two 3 month old babies, and some laugh at the thought of my dad (think big teddy bear of a guy) helping me. I know that he will do fine, worst comes to worst he takes care of luggage right!!! All kidding aside, he was really good with both of my girls when they were little and I know he'll do just fine. See I keep telling myself that if I know my dad will do fine, I will do fine as well! I get nervouse about the emotions and all of having 2 little ones and being in a foriegn country. I know I will do fine, but there is that part of me that doesn't listen to my head.
The hardest part of the whole trip is that I will be gone from my oldest two for 3 weeks.
Ouch....
I have left them once for about 5 days to attend a convention and I missed them terribly. Trying to figure out where they will be, who can take care of them while we are gone is a process as well. I have had quite a few people step-up to say they will take them a day or two, and I can't tell them all how much I appreciate it!!! It's hard planing care for your kids for so long, especially when you won't know a for sure ate for a while and you would simply rather have them with you.
I haven't been away from the husband longer than that either, and I hate the thought of being 10 or 12 days without him. I lean on him so much, probably too much and I know I will miss having him at my side. We are such a family bunch its great, and I'll miss out on it for awhile. I am trying to figure out the best way to communicate back home while I am gone. Email I know is easiest and we will be bringing a laptop with us (Thanks Mom!) I am hoping I will still be able to post to blogger, unless it is blocked. In that case I might try to have someone on blog duty. I know how much I have enjoyed reading travel notes of those who have been there and come back and I want to provide the same sevice to those waiting that read my blog as well as update my family and friends on where I am at and how things are going.
So sorry my posts are getting longer and longer. Can you tell I have a lot on my mind!
more to spill out later...

Hush-hush

Some wonder why I am being cryptic, hush-hush, or mysterious about our referral.

Answer: I don't really know! Perhaps I always communicate this way, ask my husband...he'll tell the truth at least! Is it a part of my motherly instincts wanting to protect my young, knowing if their photos are posted they are out there for the world to see? Is part of it simply being selfish and wanting to enjoy that first bit of time all to ourselves (just our family)? I really am not sure.
I do know I love these little girls that I can barely see in the pictures, that I have never met, and that I simply am having a hard time naming one of. I wan to protect them, help heal the hurt they may have already felt, nourish them, love on them, watch them sleep, and smell their little baby heads.
I NEVER dreamed I would get twin girls, and babies at that! Maybe now is a good time to share a bit of how the girls found us:

In doing our homestudy and paperwork, we simply knew that we were to ask for siblings and that we didn't want to upset the birth order in the house. SO, we asked for under 5 and preferably siblings. We felt stronger about the sibling part than any age in that range, and we really didn't have a preference of gender. Now, having asked for that we were thinking we would perhaps get a toddler and either an older or younger sibling. We read books to that end, sold most of the newborn baby stuff we had, etc. Two weeks ago, Molly, a friend I have found on our adoption journey called me to let me know some great news. She had a firend whose agency had twins available and no one in their agency paper ready. I was SO excited as here were siblings with no one to claim them!!! Then I am told they are babies...bad news. Why? We had a rough time when our oldest were babies, really rough. I knew for sure my husband would say absolutely not, no babies, we can't handle two. So I read him the email, and he didn't say "no, absolutely not". In fact, he pretty much agreed to look into it more and see what happens. This begins a string of events that set us up for getting our girls. Day by day, paperwork happened by the time it needed to, and as time passed this looked more and more like a reality for us and my husband still is not saying no! Anyone who knew us 4 almost 5 years ago will understand why he was like that. If any of you out there believe in God, I can tell you with certainty that His handprint is all over this. We were simply going along our own way, when BOOM! He had a different plan for us. Our prayer throughout this whole journey was that we trusted in that He gave us the desire for siblings, and that He would know which children we are to parent. So, we simply asked that He made a clear path to the correct children for us, and our prayer was answered! Thank you so much Molly for following your gut and sending those girls our way, I honestly think you were part of God's plan for us and I am forever greatful!!!

P.S. all of those out there with babies or babies on the way...BabiesRUs is having a sale on their brand of diapers. I was able to get 768 diapers for $60 and am thinking of going back for more next time I am in a big city. Lets see...20 diapers a day...7 days a week...my, oh, my... that is only 5 and a half weeks. This could get expensive!!!

She Shops!

I should say "We shop." At the last minute my mom decided to accompany us to the zoo yesterday. We get down to Columbus and the sky is dark, it's sprinkling, and the girls need to stretch their legs. Do we go to a McDonald's with a playplace, or a mall with a playplace....hmmmm, tough decision, right!
We ended up at the Polaris mall, very nice! They have a good mix of "top-line"/"designer stores" and "regular people can afford me" stores. Their playplace has only one entrance and exit with lots of climing and slides. We took our time letting them play and planned where we would want to go. Mom needed a few things at a store upstairs and my big thing I had an eye for was a diaper bag. I know boring, but I felt like I needed to keep my eye out for a nice backpack diaper bag as I am not going to have a free hand for a carry one.
Let me just say JC Penney's was having 40% off of already marked down clearance!!!
We came home with enough to get us to Vietnam and back...so if anyone out there is thinking they might buy the twins some clothes, it is much appreciated, but we don't need anything in 0-3 We figure they will outgrow that size shortly after we get home, and as you will see below we bought enough to travel with. (I think it's enough, any of you with travel experience let me know if I need to take more clothes for them!) Penney's had lots of little sleepers and one piece outfits that were marked down to $4.99-$7.99 and then 40% off after that!

Here is what we took home:
4 sleepers, 4 outfits and one dress each in 0-3
5 onsies in 0-3
3 sleepers and 2 outfits each in 3-6
1 sleeper, one outfit each and 5 onsies in 6-9 month
a couple of pairs of socks
my diaper bag backpack in a simple black design!

The girls were so good while we shopped the sale, they even found something for the babies. Each picked out a pink blanket taht was rolled up with a hat on it for the babies, one picked a rabbit had, the other picked a kitten hat. Very cute and very sweet!
I found an outfit I really liked for their Giving and Recieving, it's little white sundresses with pink flowers on it. Very simple, but cute little dresses, with matching bonnets and socks of course. I just need to find 2 little white sweaters to go with them and bows in case their hair will hold them.
I also picked up on clearance 2 little white hats, jsut the knit caps you generally see for little ones. They have a small spray of pink flowers embroidered on them and one says "I Love My Mommy" while the other says "I Love My Daddy" Who could resist at only $3!!!
So my days of shopping were engulfed into one. I won't plan on buying any more clothes, as I have a feeling the twins will recieve some BEAUTIFUL outfits from some family members. The only things I need for the nursury that I haven't held onto from my girls being babies would be crib sheets and a monitor. We have car seats covered (Thanks Em!) Another gal I know that had twins is pregnant again, for "only one this time" as she says, is going to provide one bouncy seat, another cirb if we think we will need it, and a few other items. I feel so blessed each time I think of all the things I am not going to have to go out and buy new! It will help us be able to purchase truckloads of diapers and formula, we'll need it!

Preparing to be a mother of babies again...

Celebrating!

Today I am taking the girls to the zoo to celebrate. Now mind you we live in the middle of corn, cows, and the Amish, so it will be a little bit of a drive. So I have to pack a lunch, snacks, and car entertainment.

What am I celebrating, you may ask?
We have received our referral!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Introducing:
xxxxxxHoa and xxxxxxxLan
We are the proud forever parents of twin baby girls! They are in the northern part of Vietnam, near Hanoi, and though the couple pictures we got are a bit fuzzy, I can tell they are simple beautiful!

It helps too that just down the road from the zoo a bit is a Babies R' Us and a JoAnn fabrics (I am wanting to try my hand at making a mei tai.) I had the urge to do a bit of baby shopping yesterday and will do so in bits and pieces as not to kill the budget around here. Anyhow, I was at the grocery and diapers/formula seemed to lack the bit of shopping joy I craved. We now own 4 8oz and 2 4oz bottles, in pink and purple of course, with two different types of nipples to take with us. Anyone ever had twins before, is that enough???

The reason things have been so crazy the past few posts were that as I am gathering our last minute dossier, this also includes an agency switch. I was perfectly happy with our agency, and had no intentions of leaving them, but the twins found me. I did not go looking for them, they found me and I am so blessed to be their mommy!

Our older girls are so excited to be "bigger" sisters. They want to help with names, bottles, diapers, peek-a-boo, etc. It cracks me up to see them almost as excited as I am!

More on how the twins found us later, and I will post pictures as time and contracts allow for good images

Names xxxxxxx'd for security of our children